


From The Start

by therealtortilla



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-01-13 03:50:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1211515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealtortilla/pseuds/therealtortilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How it all started and how it all ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kentucky

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress. I may change the title at some point down the road. I was eager to post the first few chapters while I continue to write. There is an end in sight currently but I still have to get there, so I was uneasy about posting this without having finished it yet. Hopefully I won't lose inspiration along the way, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it. Thanks Ria for the graphic!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AJ spends a week with Kevin in Kentucky.

 

* * *

 

 

Kevin was infinitely surprised that, when he had asked him up to Kentucky for the winter with him and his family, AJ had said yes.

He never expected him to go willingly – thought he'd have to guilt trip for a little while, and eventually give up and return home alone. But AJ seemed excited about it, even bought a couple of new sweaters to wear while at the Richardsons'.

“Is it going to snow there?” the eighteen-year-old asked.

“Yes,” Kevin responded.

AJ smiled broadly, and then went off to brag to Nick about how he got to spend the winter break with Kevin, knowing Nick was jealous that Kevin hadn't asked him.

AJ's mother didn't seem to mind, either. Denise said that as long as she got her boy for Christmas Day, he could stay with Kevin as long as he liked.

They made plans for AJ to fly up to Lexington on December 28th. Kevin was itching to pick him up from the airport.

 

As much as Kevin loved his mother, Ann Richardson kept asking him about Kristin.

“When are you going to bring that lovely girl back here again?”

“We're – we're not really together at the moment, mom. She's doing her dancing stuff, and I've been busy touring,” Kevin tried to explain. Once AJ was there, he knew, Ann would be distracted and would stop with the questions.

The truth was that Kristin and Kevin had broken up again, and Kevin decided that maybe he had a thing for AJ McLean instead. And maybe he'd pursue that. And if it didn't work out, well, maybe Kristin would want him back at some point.

He wasn't going to tell his mom that. Though she'd once reassured him, back in the day, that if Kevin ever found out he was bisexual or gay, she would be okay with it, he hated the thought of having to come out to her. Because she really, really liked Kristin, and was determined that Kevin was going to marry her one day. And who knew, maybe he would.

But right now, his sights were on AJ. AJ, who had just turned 18. AJ, who was legal. He liked that thought.

He was thinking about the specific details of what he'd like to do to Legal AJ when he felt a sudden thrust of heavy weight onto his back. He stumbled forward, grabbing onto the arms that had come around his neck.

“Guess who?!”

“Hey, Alex,” Kevin greeted, unable to contain his smile. AJ wrapped his legs around his waist.

“Carry me back to the house!” he demanded.

“You know, as much as I'd like to travel 25 miles by foot with you on my back,” Kevin said, running his thumb along AJ's forearm, “I couldn't leave the car, Mom would be mad.”

AJ laughed, and hopped down. Kevin turned around to see his bright smile and felt his cheeks flush slightly. It had only been a few weeks, and Kevin swore he'd forgotten how handsome AJ was.

“So how long is the drive back?” AJ asked, as Kevin stooped over to pick up his luggage. “Oh, man you don't have to do that.”

“'bout half an hour. I want to,” Kevin said. He hoisted one bag over his shoulder; the other was on wheels. AJ slipped his carry on bag over his shoulder.

“Well, let's get goin', then! I'm starving, is there food at your house?”

Kevin chuckled.

“My mom's makin' dinner.”

“Okay, good, otherwise I was gonna force you to drive me to the nearest McDonald's.”

AJ followed Kevin out of the airport and to the parking lot where he'd parked his mom's car. Kevin used to keep his old truck at his mom's house, his nicer car being down at his apartment in Florida, but the truck finally breathed its last breath. With Kevin's blessing, Ann had it towed to the junk yard about a year ago. Kevin missed it.

With AJ's luggage packed in the backseat, the boys took off back to Mrs. Richardson's home.

“So what all is there to do in Kentucky?” AJ asked, peering out the window at the passing snow-covered trees.

“Lots of stuff, in the summer,” Kevin said. “Hiking, swimming, fishing, bonfires, all that. Less to do in the winter, but you know – there's the movie theater, ice skating, skiing, and I personally like to hike in the winter, too. Just gotta put on warmer boots.”

“Ice skating?” AJ asked, curiosity seemingly peaked.

“Yeah. You wanna try tomorrow?”

“I've been rollerblading before, back in middle school,” AJ said. “It's kinda like that, isn't it?”

Kevin nodded. “Kinda.”

“Are your brothers home?”

“Naw,” Kevin said, “They left early this afternoon, actually, before I came to pick you up.”

“Oh. So it's just you, me, and your mom?”

“Yup. And I'll introduce you to some of my old friends from school,” Kevin said, “if you'd like. We can catch a movie with some of 'em tonight.”

“Yeah, that sounds great!” AJ said, and sat back in his seat.

 

Ann Richardson squeezed AJ into a tight hug when he stepped inside her house.

“How's my little Alex doing?” she asked sweetly. “I hope Kevin's been acting nice, hmm?”

“He was a total jerk all the way here,” AJ joked. “Wouldn't even let me sit in the car, tied me to the roof.”

Kevin walked past them with AJ's things as his mother laughed.

“Well, I know how glad he is that you're here,” Kevin heard his mom saying as he went up the stairs. “He couldn't stop talking about how he couldn't wait for you to arrive all of Christmas!”

Kevin's face flushed and he was glad AJ couldn't see him. He wanted to hide under his bed suddenly. Now AJ had information with which to taunt him the whole week.... And his mom was sure to give him plenty more embarrassing stories while AJ was here.

He didn't hear AJ's reply, as he was now in the guest room, setting AJ's bags down. He rejoined them just in time for his mom to say that dinner was about ready.

“So if you two want to wash up, it'll be on the table in about ten minutes,” she said.

“C'mon,” Kevin said, gently taking AJ by the wrist. “I'll show you where the bathroom is, and your room.” He dropped AJ's hand when he was satisfied the younger one was following him.

“This is a real nice house,” AJ commented. “This the one you grew up in?”

“Not really. We sold that one when my dad got sick,” Kevin explained. “We've all got rooms here, though, for when we're visiting.”

Kevin led him into the first door on the left.

“This one's yours. Well, actually it's Tim's room, I guess, since this is where he leaves most of his stuff – but, he's not here so it's yours. Mine's across the hall, and my mom's is down past the bathroom.”

“Cool,” AJ said. “I thought we were gonna have to share a room or something. Like a kindergarten sleepover type deal.”

“Nah,” Kevin said. “Unless you wanted to. I got a double bed.”

AJ laughed and smiled and Kevin bit his lip, wanting to say more. AJ walked into his room to explore, so Kevin went into the bathroom to wash his hands and sprinkle water on his face.

Minutes later, AJ bumped into Kevin in the bathroom.

“Dude, found condoms in Tim's bedside drawer,” AJ snickered, “thought you'd like to know.”

“Ugh,” Kevin said, and left AJ in the bathroom on his own.

 

They had chili for dinner, which AJ seemed to enjoy almost as much as McDonald's. The younger man even helped wash and put away dishes.

“What are y'all planning to do tonight?” Ann asked as Kevin finished wiping off the kitchen table with a soapy rag.

“Was thinkin' I'd call some of my friends from high school,” Kevin said. “See if they wanted to catch a movie or somethin'.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Ann said. “You two have fun. I'm gonna go watch some TV. Let me know if you need anything – oh, AJ,” she added, looking at the boy, “there's fresh towels in the closet next to the bathroom for when you take a shower. And I just washed the linens on your bed this afternoon so everything's all fresh.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Richardson,” AJ said, grinning sweetly.

 

Kevin hung up the phone and sighed.

“Everyone's busy tonight,” he told AJ. “They all said tomorrow we should get dinner so I said that was fine. What do you wanna do?”

AJ shrugged. It was already dark out, at 7:30, so there wasn't anything they could do outside in the cold.

“Do you have a Playstation or somethin' around here?” he suggested, and Kevin perked up.

“In my room, actually, I have my old Nintendo 64. All my other stuff's down in Florida, but I got some games we could play. Think one of the controllers is a little fucked up, though.”

“It should be fine,” AJ said, standing up from where he'd been sitting at the kitchen table.

“You go ahead and get it set up. Should be under the cabinet by my TV,” Kevin said. “I'll make some hot cocoa. Marshmallows?”

“Hell yeah, marshmallows,” AJ said, and went off.

 

A few minutes later Kevin joined him on the floor of his bedroom. AJ had scattered pillows and blankets around for comfort, and he'd stuck a game in the slot and turned on the console.

“Mario Party?” Kevin said. “Just two of us?”

AJ shrugged.

“Two is multi-player,” he said. “And there's the computers.”

“Yeah, but it's more fun with more people,” Kevin said.

“I guess,” AJ said, moving to turn off the Nintendo, but Kevin stopped him, resting his hand on top of AJ's.

“No, it should be fun. Let's do it.”

“You sure?” AJ asked. “We could play somethin' else.”

“Nah. Let's play this, it's already in.”

“Okay. How many rounds?”

Kevin thought.

“Let's do 20.”

“Okay.”

Kevin took a sip of his cocoa and nearly spat it out when he saw AJ select 50 turns.

“Are you kidding me?”

AJ looked over and gave him the biggest evil smirk.

“It's on, now, bro. Pick your character!”

 

“God,” AJ groaned when he checked and saw they were only 31 turns in. It was going on 10 o'clock now. “Let's just give up.”

“Now, now, Alex, who decided to do 50 turns?” Kevin said, giving him a look.

“Okay, fine, but let's just save it and take a break.” Kevin continued staring at him. “Please?”

Kevin smiled and nodded. He was also a bit tired of the game at this point. Maybe they'd finish it tomorrow, if at all. And besides, sitting so near AJ for so long without having an excuse to touch him was beginning to wear on him.

“Wanna watch a movie or something?” he asked.

“Sure!”

“You go ahead and pick something out. All my VHS tapes are in the cabinet by the games. I'll go make some pop corn or something.”

“Kevin, you're a great host,” AJ said, shutting off the console and digging through the cabinet for movies.

 

When Kevin came back with a bowl of hot kettle corn, he asked AJ, “What did you put in?”

“Kevin, all of these are Disney movies,” AJ laughed. “I put in Aladdin. In memory of your days at Disney World.”

Kevin huffed a laugh and reclined on his bed, setting the bowl next to him.

“How 'm I supposed to get pop corn when you're up there?” AJ asked, looking up at him.

“Start the movie and join me here. It's more comfortable than the floor,” Kevin said, excited at the prospect of AJ being next to him on his bed, “And bring some of those blankets and pillows up with you. We'll cuddle.”

Kevin hoped AJ didn't notice him flush red when he said that last part. He'd intended for it to sound like a joke. Stupid, stupid.... Kevin sucked at flirting.

“Alright.” AJ struggled to his feet, shaking out stiffness from being on the ground so long. He pressed play on the VCR and then hopped on the bed, nearly toppling over the bowl of pop corn. He threw a blanket and pillow at Kevin, and then tucked himself into one.

“Thought we were gonna cuddle,” Kevin said, making a sad face. AJ looked over at him, noticed his expression. Smiled a little.

As the opening credits rolled onto the screen, AJ shifted the bowl of pop corn into his lap and scooted close to Kevin. He leaned his head against Kevin's shoulder, and Kevin put his arm around him.

“This good?” AJ asked, tossing some pop corn into his mouth.

“Perfect,” Kevin responded. He hoped AJ didn't notice how fast his heart was beating. AJ adjusted the blankets slightly so that they both shared two layers.

Kevin thought he was going to die... but in a very, very good way.

 

During the movie, AJ never shifted out of his arms. If he moved, he only snuggled closer. Kevin gently rubbed his arm most of the time. When the movie ended, Kevin removed himself from the bed to turn off the television and VCR. When he turned around, he saw AJ sitting up and setting aside the bowl of kettle corn. The moment was gone.

“Guess I should probably go to my room, huh?” AJ said, and slipped off the bed. Kevin hoped his bed would still retain AJ's warmth and scent once AJ was gone.

“Yeah, guess so,” Kevin replied, faking a smile. “If you need anything, just ask.”

“Will do.”

When AJ left, he rubbed up against Kevin fully, pressing their sides together for a moment. Kevin felt AJ's fingers brush his hand, and then he was out the door.

Kevin smiled, shut the door, and changed into his pajamas. When he fell asleep, he held onto the pillow AJ had leaned against.


	2. Hot Chocolate and a First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AJ feels the same way.

The next day, Ann Richardson prepared the boys some blueberry pancakes.

“They're frozen blueberries, so won't be as good as they would right off the farm,” Kevin's mother said, setting the plate down in front of her son and his friend. They devoured them.

 

The guys did their showers and morning routine.

“My friend Ralph says he's gonna have a bunch of our old friends meet at the diner tonight,” Kevin said. “Around 8. But I figured maybe we could go to the indoor ice rink and skate for a bit or something in the meantime.”

AJ perked up.

“Sounds good to me. What should I wear?”

Kevin shrugged.

“Something warm.”

AJ met Kevin downstairs bundled up in a sweater, coat, scarf, gloves, and hat. He looked plain adorable, and Kevin wanted to hug him. And maybe take off everything AJ'd put on, and then some.

“Ready to go?” Kevin asked. AJ nodded, and flashed his trademark grin.

 

At the skating rink, AJ didn't have much prowess in the balancing department. Neither did Kevin, really, but he had a bit more experience on blades than AJ. Not by much, though. 

They tumbled and tripped and fell numerous times before they started to get the hang of it. What Kevin loved most, though, was AJ desperately clinging to him, squeezing Kevin's arm so tight he thought he'd lose the circulation. Holding onto him, because he trusted Kevin not to let him fall.

“I am going to have so many bruises on my butt,” AJ muttered as they stepped, or rather, stumbled out of the rink together. Kevin, rosy-cheeked, tried not to picture AJ's butt while they returned their rented skates and treated themselves to some sub-par, watered-down hot cocoa from the rink's snack bar.

“We'll get better hot chocolate at the diner tonight,” Kevin told his friend. “Promise. They have excellent food. It's cheap, too, which is great. You know, considering we're not raking in the dough right now.”

AJ looked down.

“That bothers me. About us not having gotten any money yet,” he said.

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed, smoothing an eyebrow with the pad of his thumb, “yeah, me, too. But you know, we're gonna figure it out.” He gently rubbed AJ's back. “I'll figure it out.”

 

By the time they got home, warmed up and cleaned up, it was about time to meet Kevin's friends at the diner. They threw on clean clothes, Kevin fixed his hair, and the boys left again.

 

“I'm having a really great time,” AJ said in the car. “Thanks for inviting me up for the week. I really enjoy being with you, you know.”

Kevin smiled and hoped AJ couldn't see him blushing in the dark.

“As much as Nick claims the opposite, you're actually pretty fun.” AJ patted Kevin's knee.

“I'm fun?” Kevin gasped, “Well, I guess we better just go back to the house and stare at walls for the rest of the night. Don't want to give the other guys the wrong idea.”

 

At the restaurant, AJ got along very well with all of Kevin's high school friends. In fact, Kevin was sure AJ talked more than he did, and Kevin was certainly known for being long-winded.

He ordered pancakes, and Kevin made fun of him for eating them twice in one day.

“Just wanna see if they're as good as your mom's,” AJ shrugged, sticking out his tongue.

He even rested against Kevin's shoulder when Kevin “casually” draped his arm around him in the booth. Kevin was loving every minute of being with him like this. It was almost as if they were a couple.... Although, Kevin hoped they didn't appear that way, for the sake of his old friends.

After spending hours catching up with everyone, Kevin and AJ exited the diner. As they were getting into the car, AJ said, “Your friends are pretty cool. I prefer you, though.”

 

It was after midnight by the time they got back home. The boys showered and got ready for bed.

Kevin was surprised when AJ came into his room instead of going to sleep. He had still been awake, sat up in bed and reading. AJ joined him on the bed.

“Whatcha readin'?” AJ asked.

Kevin showed him the cover of the book.

“Any good?”

Kevin shrugged. He marked his page, closed it, and set it on his bedside table. He looked questioningly at AJ.

“Oh. Um. Did you want me to leave?” AJ asked, noticing.

“No – I just thought maybe you needed something?” Kevin replied, shrugging again.

“Nah. I just thought... I don't know.”

“Thought what?”

“Nothing.”

They were quiet for a while, Kevin giving AJ a perplexed smile. God, all he wanted was to reach out and pull AJ close to him. And kiss him. And do other things.... He wanted to make AJ feel good.

“So you don't sleep in the nude at your mom's house, eh?” AJ conversed playfully.

“Nah. Doesn't feel right,” Kevin chuckled, playing with the collar of his shirt and blushing at the mention of himself without clothes.

“I'm disappointed,” the smaller man sighed. He yawned and stretched out on the bed, crossing his legs at the ankles. Kevin decided no one had ever looked as good lying in his bed as AJ.

“And you've still got your shirt on,” Kevin noted, trying to turn the embarrassment away from him. 

“Gotta be a good boy for Mrs. Richardson,” AJ snickered. He drew a hand lazily down his stomach, and when he brought it back up, his shirt lifted, revealing some skin. Kevin swore he did that on purpose.

“Hey,” AJ said suddenly, drawing Kevin's wandering green eyes back up.

“Hey,” Kevin replied, his heart beating a little faster. AJ scooted closer so their sides were touching.

“Hey,” AJ said again, his eyelashes lowering. He turned inward and reached out. He ran his hand down Kevin's arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps along the way. Kevin swallowed hard. “I've seriously had a really good time so far.”

Kevin bit his lip. “I'm glad. I'm really happy you wanted to come up with me.”

AJ smiled and pulled Kevin's body into his. Their faces were so close. All Kevin had to do was tilt in slightly and their lips would meet. He ached to.... But how would AJ react?

AJ wrapped his arm around Kevin tightly and hugged him. Kevin hugged back, sighing against AJ's neck.

“G'night, Kev,” AJ said, and pulled away. 

Kevin watched him leave, feeling both inner and outer warmth leaving him, wondering when the hell he'd gather enough courage to just kiss AJ.

 

The next day after breakfast, AJ asked if they could build a snow man.

“We can try,” Kevin said.

“I never built one before,” AJ told him.

“Before you bundle up,” Kevin said, “Let me check somethin' real quick.”

Kevin stepped outside on the front porch in his slippers and pajamas. He knelt down to scoop up some snow from the yard. What didn't melt sifted through his fingers.

“Bad news,” he told AJ, who appeared behind him in the door frame, arms crossed against the cold draft.

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. It's not packing snow,” Kevin said, “so it's nearly impossible to make a snowman with it.”

“Packing snow?”

“Yeah, it's like, wetter, thicker snow. Easier to build with. It sticks together good. But this snow's all flaky n' cold,” Kevin explained. “Wouldn't even make a good snowball.”

“That sucks,” AJ said. Kevin rolled up the melting snow in his hand and tossed it at AJ. It broke apart on his t-shirt. 

“See? Barely affective. Half of it was gone before it got to you.”

“Hey,” AJ frowned at the new wet mark on his shirt.

“Gotta wait 'til the snow's packing before you can get me back,” Kevin shrugged. He stood up, and the guys went back in the house.

 

“Kevin, honey,” his mom said, looking up from the television. “It's gonna be a bad snow storm tonight. You two probably won't be able to go much of anywhere most of tomorrow, and I don't want you staying out too late tonight. Be careful.”

“Okay, Ma.”

 

Kevin took AJ out to McDonald's for lunch, and then they caught a movie after. 

Around 5, they went to the mall and perused the shops for a few hours. AJ bought three new hats, a pair of jeans, and a smoothie. Kevin couldn't decide on whether or not to buy a black button down dress shirt. AJ bought it for him while he was looking at discounted Christmas items.

“Late Christmas gift,” AJ explained. “Plus, you looked hot in it.”

“Thank you,” Kevin said sweetly, smiling about that comment the rest of the afternoon.

 

On the way home, it was beginning to snow heavily just as Mrs. Richardson had warned them. Kevin and AJ made some more hot cocoa with powder mix and warm milk, and they stayed in Kevin's room, attempting to finish their game of Mario Party.

“Ya know, Lou's gonna be upset if I lose my pretty boy physique, drinking all this hot chocolate with you,” AJ said.

“Well, you know what?” Kevin asked, poking AJ in the stomach. “I'm gonna get you nice n' fat over the next couple days before we go back on tour, and Lou can eat shit.”

AJ laughed. “Would you still think I'm attractive if I were fat?”

Kevin was startled.

“I, uh -”

Thankfully, Kevin's mom called them down for dinner right as Kevin was about to speak. As they got to their feet, Kevin brushed his arm against AJ's back.

“I would still think you're super attractive, even if you were fat,” Kevin told him softly.

“Good answer,” AJ smiled. “No wonder Kristin's so into you, ya know? I bet you're a great boyfriend.”

Kevin stared at the small of AJ's back as he followed him downstairs, perplexed. 

“I'm not, uh, with her currently. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” AJ said, shrugging noncommittally. 

“Okay,” Kevin said, “just makin' sure....”

 

“So what are you guys doin' for the new year?” AJ asked Kevin's mom at the dinner table, “You know, since it's tomorrow.”

“I figured Kevin would have told you!” Mrs. Richardson exclaimed. “We always have a small gathering of family at the Littrells', and we watch the ball drop on television. Tim and Jerald will be there, if the snow doesn't hold them up, with their girlfriends, and a few other family friends. I'll be bringing some food, and Brian's parents are great chefs. And we might even let you drink champagne if you promise to be good. It'll be fun!”

Kevin watched AJ smile and look down.

“Can't wait,” he said.

 

Later that same evening, things took a bit of an exciting turn, way faster than Kevin had ever hoped.

“Kevin, this might come off weird, but... fuck it, I'm just gonna say it, and you can take it how you will... I think I'm starting to like you as something more than a friend,” AJ said. Kevin's heart somersaulted and he wasn't sure he was hearing AJ right. “By all means, stop me if I'm ahead here,” AJ went on, “but I swear you've been flirting with me for a while now, especially these last couple days, and I've been flirting back and I just really wanna do this.”

And, in what felt to Kevin like slow motion, AJ leaned over and kissed him.

They were lying in Kevin's bed once more, watching a movie, but AJ started talking in the middle of it, drawing Kevin's attention fully to him. Kevin couldn't believe it. He had thought he was going to have to be the one to initiate it, to ask AJ. He never in a million years would have expected AJ to kiss him first. He was so shocked that he missed the whole thing.

AJ pulled away, looking at him expectantly. 

Kevin blinked repeatedly, his mouth falling agape. 

“Kev?” AJ asked cautiously. “I'm sorry if I read the signs wrong, I-”

Kevin shook his head quickly. 

“No, AJ, no – come here,” he said. The boys wiggled close to each other on the bed and Kevin kissed AJ back. He wrapped his arm around him and held him as tightly as he could, and immediately, AJ was slipping his tongue into his mouth. Sparks of happy warmth trickled up and down Kevin's body as he settled into the kiss.

Feeling AJ respond to him drove Kevin nuts. He wanted to do so many things. He wanted to make love to AJ right there – he knew that was way too fast to move, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare AJ off. But he didn't want to hold back, either. He moved his hand up and cupped AJ's cheek, gently stroking his soft skin with his thumb as his tongue played with AJ's. AJ clutched him close and Kevin shivered happily. He'd been fantasizing about this for so long, and now it was reality.

They stopped and leaned their foreheads together, breathing raggedly.

“How long have you wanted to do that?” AJ asked in a whisper. “I just wanna know.”

Kevin gazed at him warmly. “A while.”

AJ didn't seem content with that answer, but nodded anyway.

“Do you like me?” he wondered.

“A lot,” Kevin said, and kissed him.

“I like you, too, Kevin,” AJ said, licking his lips. 

“What should we do about it?” Kevin asked, suddenly anxious.

“I don't know. How about we'll just play it by ear,” AJ told him, running his hand down Kevin's side. Kevin wasn't satisfied with that answer, but he bit his tongue, once again not wanting to scare AJ away by being too forward and demanding. All he wanted was for AJ to be his boyfriend, now that they had kissed. All he wanted was for AJ to be his and his alone, now that AJ said he was interested. He wanted everyone to know that AJ belonged to him.

Kevin kissed him again, a bit hard, claiming him, and AJ's hand held him at bay by his shoulder. AJ kissed back, though, tenderly, trying to slow Kevin's tongue down. He pulled back, but Kevin followed forward.

“Kev-” he started, but Kevin cut him off with his lips in another deep kiss. AJ gripped him tightly and Kevin sighed happily, taking a breath and opening his eyes. AJ looked back at him and chuckled.

“You're eager,” he said darkly, running his fingertip down Kevin's temple. Kevin shivered under his gaze and touch.

“I can't help it,” Kevin said, mustering a sexy smirk. “Not when I'm with you.”

AJ laughed again, and Kevin swore he saw him blush. He looked down, obscuring his beautiful brown eyes from Kevin's vision, so Kevin took to staring at him quietly, running his hand along his side, squeezing his shoulder, caressing his ear with his thumb.

“D'ya... Do you wanna sleep here, with me, tonight?” Kevin asked, unable to stop the question.

AJ nodded. Kevin bit back a wide smile.

“Okay,” he said slowly, “Hey, let's continue this under the covers, alright?”

AJ gave him a wide-eyed look that Kevin recognized as panic. He'd seen the look a few times, before they'd gone out on stage in front of a big crowd, or when he saw a drink that was about to tip over or something, so Kevin knew the look well enough and was upset for having been the cause of it.

“Kev, that's a bit-”

“Alex, no, baby – sorry, didn't mean to call you that – I -” Kevin cleared his throat and squeezed his eyes shut, his stomach knotting up. “Alex, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant, you know, it'd be warmer and cozier.”

“Oh. It's okay, Kevin, I understand,” AJ said, patting him gently. “Let's get under the covers, then.” Kevin nodded, relief washing over him. He really didn't want to mess this up. Not when things were working out so well so quickly.

Once they were covered in sheets and Kevin turned off the bedside lamp, AJ was back against him, hard body and hot breath. Kevin tilted in to receive his kiss, but AJ teased him, flicking his tongue, letting out a gust of warm breath, and inching away. Kevin wouldn't have it. He placed his hand on the back of AJ's neck, and, now in control, steadied AJ's face and continued loving AJ with his mouth.

They made out for a long time, neither wanting to be the one to stop it. It tapered off eventually on both sides when they were each so tired they could barely keep open their eyes. AJ flipped over, pushing himself into Kevin's arms. Kevin, now sporting a thick erection against AJ's butt that he really couldn't be bothered with, snuggled him close, and they fell asleep.

 


	3. Kevin's Cousin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AJ and Kevin bring in the New Year at Brian's house....

Kevin woke up in the late morning, smiling at the sight with which he was greeted. AJ's bed rumpled hair was softly silhouetted by the sunlight peeking through the window blinds. His body was so warm against his; he'd turned over sometime in the night so now Kevin could see his sleeping face. His arm was loosely thrown across Kevin's hip, and one leg was caught between Kevin's knees. Kevin decided he never wanted to leave, and he closed his eyes again, snuggling into the warmth of his friend.

The only warning he got was hearing a few footsteps and a soft knock on his door.

“Kevin, sweetheart, it's almost noon,” came his mother's voice. Kevin's eyes shot back open and he was overcome with momentary panic. AJ was just waking up, looking confused. The door opened and Ann stepped in. “Could you shovel the driveway for me, please? Oh! Hello!”

She'd spotted AJ.

“Ma, it's not -” Kevin started, sitting up.

“You go ahead and finish up,” she said, waving her hand absently, “I've made some eggs and toast if you boys want some when you come down. Oh, AJ – your mother called. Wanted to ask how you were doing. You can call her back after you eat.”

“Okay,” AJ said, dazed. Mrs. Richardson left, closing the door behind her. “That was weird.”

Kevin nodded, climbing out of the bed. “Yeah.”

 

After breakfast, AJ left the dining area to call his mom.

“So you and AJ,” Kevin's mom said, inevitably. Kevin cringed.

“He just fell asleep in my room last night,” Kevin emphasized, “we watched a movie, and we were tired and he didn't wanna walk back across the hall.”

“Okay, okay,” Ann said, shrugging as she scraped leftover eggs into the trash. “Whatever you say, Kevin.”

“I swear, Ma,” Kevin said, drying some of the dishes.

“Good,” Ann said, and Kevin felt his heart sink into his stomach. “Remember, if you're gay, I'll still love you no matter what." Kevin's face turned bright red. "But I don't think AJ would be good enough for you, anyway. He's a sweetheart, don't get me wrong – but he's a little wild, isn't he? A little different.”

“Ma, he's.... We're not having this conversation,” Kevin groaned.

They cleaned in silence for a moment.

“When's the last time you talked to Kristin?”

“What? Ma, stop, please,” Kevin begged, placing the dishes in the cupboard.

“Well, you didn't want to talk about AJ, so I figured we could talk about Kristin. Why don't you give her a call sometime today? Wish her a happy New Year?”

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” Kevin grumbled, “if it'll get you to stop talking.”

Ann tossed a dishcloth at her son. “Don't talk to your mother that way.”

“Sorry....”

 

Across the hall, AJ listened in on the conversation. He'd gotten off the phone after a surprisingly short conversation with his mom, who'd had work to tend to, and he heard Kevin's mother mention his name.

 _Not good enough for Kevin_ , AJ thought, not knowing why that hurt so much. Kevin's mom didn't think he was good enough for her son. But it should've been okay, right? Things weren't serious between him and Kevin, anyway, right? It wasn't like anything was actually going to come out of the relationship.

He swallowed a lump in his throat and returned to the kitchen when it seemed the conversation had died down.

 

The day was spent preparing for the evening. Kevin went outside and shoveled the driveway while AJ helped Ann prepare the food they were going to bring over the Littrell's.

“Is Brian going to be there?” he asked, slicing up some sweet potatoes.

“I believe so,” Ann said, a pleasant smile on her face. “Can you hand me that bag of brown sugar, AJ?” Ann had always given AJ the impression that she liked him. But now AJ felt like he had something to prove to her. He wasn't a wild rebel. He could be perfectly tame if he wanted to be. So that's what he would do, at least while he was in her presence. He could be normal, and he could be good enough for Kevin.

 

The snow was melting. Ideal for building a snowman. After clearing the drive, Kevin headed up to the porch and called AJ's name into the house.

“AJ, c'mere!”

AJ appeared soon after, and the face he made when Kevin struck him with a snowball was priceless.

“We can build that snowman now,” Kevin said happily. “Snow's wet!”

 

They tussled around in the snow. AJ beheaded the snowman Kevin meticulously built, causing the beginnings of an all out snowball war.

Kevin finally decided the snowman wasn't all that much of a loss, and called a truce by way of a kiss.

He gently tugged AJ into him and leaned down. AJ tilted his head away as though he didn't want it. Kevin missed and kissed him on the temple.

“AJ?” he asked, perplexed. Had AJ changed his mind already? He swore AJ was flirting with him the whole afternoon – why would he reject him now?

“I'm sorry,” AJ apologized, and stood up on his toes to receive his kiss. That was better, Kevin thought, and smiled warmly.

 

The drive to the Littrells' was long, a bit short of an hour. Because it was so far of a trip, the Richardsons would be staying overnight. Kevin and AJ sat together in the backseat, holding hands obscured by the dark, while Mrs. Richardson drove. Kevin's mouth salivated the whole way at the scent of baked sweet potatoes sitting in the front passenger seat.

 

Brian greeted AJ and Kevin with his widest smile and drew them each into bone-crushing hugs.

“Hey, guys!” he said, accent thick. “C'mon in! Harold n' I were just gonna start a game of Old Maid upstairs! Kev, your brothers are already here. Tim and his girlfriend are gonna play, too.”

Brian led them through the kitchen.

“Grab some food, boys, and join us in Harold's room when you're ready,” Brian said, “we'll wait up.”

While Kevin and AJ filled up paper plates with finger foods, Kevin hastily introduced and reintroduced AJ to family members who might not have met or remembered him. AJ's plate was mostly filled with ketchup and oven-baked french fries, so he stuck some other things he wanted to eat on Kevin's plate.

Upstairs, the boys played several card games and ate and told stories.

“AJ, this is where all the kids hang out,” Brian explained and gestured at the room with a chuckle. “Even though we're all grown up now, we still do it. We'd always be up here playin' cards or hide n' seek or whatever while the adults talked and drank downstairs. Ain't that right, Kev?”

Kevin had been admiring AJ and looked up at the mention of his name.

“Yup,” he said. He was distracted. There was nothing he longed for more than to be able to freely hold AJ in his arms. Sitting close to him wasn't good enough, and at one point Kevin had scooted over so that their knees touched. Literally all he could think about was AJ, and how he wanted to kiss him, and he couldn't focus very long on the conversation or games around him. But holding hands with AJ in the backseat of his mom's car where she couldn't see was one thing. Blatantly being affectionate with another boy in front of his whole family? Not the best idea.

“Think I'm gonna get more food,” Kevin said, getting to his feet. “Since AJ ate all mine.”

AJ smiled sweetly with an incriminating carrot stick in his mouth and stood as well.

“I'll come too,” he said, “to make sure Kev gets all the good stuff.”

 

In the hall, Kevin reached blindly behind him and felt AJ's fingers close around his hand tightly. AJ pressed close against him, kissing his shoulder, before passing him and heading downstairs. Kevin followed, his body aching with need to be close to AJ. If he didn't get to at least hold him for a few minutes, he thought he might explode.

 

AJ discovered the desserts and Kevin watched him pop cookie after brownie after spoonful of jelly into his mouth. Kevin indulged in a piece of cake his aunt had baked.

Conversation was loud in the room over, spilling into the kitchen where Kevin and AJ feasted by themselves.

“Guess what I brought?” AJ asked in a sneaky voice. He pointed down at his pockets.

“What?” Kevin asked.

AJ slid the small shiny packet just enough out of his jeans to make it clear to Kevin what he had before concealing it again.

“Are those-”

“The ones I found in Tim's room,” AJ snickered, “thought maybe we might wanna use 'em.”

“AJ,” Kevin hissed, but unable to resist smiling, “this is my aunt and uncle's house!”

“So,” AJ said, swallowing some more jelly, “Where is there a place we could be alone in here? Preferably with a lock on the door.”

Desire shot straight down to Kevin's groin and he nearly dropped his cake.

“I – uh....” He thought hard. Damn, did he think hard. AJ wanted to do something with him. Kevin certainly was not going to use those condoms in the Littrell house; they could save them for another day. Maybe they'd make out, or something. So who was Kevin to not at least try to find an appropriate spot in which they could have some fun? Even if it was in his cousins' house....

It came to him: “Brian's room.”

AJ almost choked from laughing.

“Kinky,” he said, when he recovered. “I dig it.”

They discarded their desserts and Kevin led him back upstairs.

 

The fact that this was Brian's bedroom made it all the worse, and all the more thrilling. The door securely locked behind them, Kevin pulled AJ into him.

“Can I -” Kevin said lowly, reaching out a shaking hand in the dark.

“Please.”

Kevin stuck his hand down AJ's pants.

“God, yes,” AJ breathed.

 

“Kevin? AJ? Where are y'all? Ball's gonna drop in one minute!” Brian said impatiently. He'd been sent by his mother to find the two astray Backstreet Boys. He arrived at his bedroom door at the end of the hall and wiggled the handle. It was locked. “The hell? Kev? You in there?”

He tried the doorknob again. Then banged on the door. It opened slowly, revealing two flushed faces looking like they'd been caught red-handed.

“What in Sam Hill are you guys doin' in there?” Brian asked, thoroughly confused.

“I was, uh – showin' AJ your room. He wanted to see,” Kevin said, smoothing a hand through his hair.

“Well, why'd you lock it?” Brian said, looking unconvinced. “Why're the lights off?”

“I -” Kevin tried, but it was written all over his face that he was guilty – for what, Brian wasn't sure. He'd find out later.

“Whatever, you can tell me after the celebration. Let's go downstairs.”

Kevin followed Brian, AJ at his tail, trying to come up with an excuse to explain why they had been alone in Brian's bedroom.

Downstairs, they made it into the living room just in time to celebrate. Everyone cheered as the ball hit and the year 1996 lit up on the large television. A few corks were popped out of champagne bottles, and kisses were shared. Jerald and Tim each kissed their mother on the cheek, so Kevin joined and did the same. Kevin took a plastic champagne flute that was handed to him and wandered back to AJ, who seemed awkward and alone. He munched on a cookie in his corner and smiled up at Kevin when he came over.

“Happy New Year, Alex,” Kevin said, and handed AJ his champagne.

“It's cool if I have this?” AJ asked. Kevin shrugged.

“Don't see why not.”

“Thanks, man.” AJ took a sip. “Not bad.”

“Yeah,” Kevin said, and glanced around the room. Everyone seemed to be preoccupied with someone else. So he pulled AJ into a hug, and smiled as he felt AJ's arms come around him. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of this.

They didn't hold each other for long, just in case someone was watching. When they parted, Brian was up in their faces, huge smile threatening to come off his own, with a bunch of unlit sparklers in hand.

“Let's go outside, boys! Get on yer boots!” he shouted excitedly.

About half of the party, including Kevin and a perplexed AJ, followed Brian outside, and he passed out sparklers to everyone.

“You ever use these?” Brian asked AJ.

“I may not be from Kentucky, but I'm still an American,” AJ scoffed, receiving his sparkler.

“Just makin' sure,” Brian said kindly, and handed one to Kevin. Harold came around after Brian and lit each of them.

“You guys are crazy,” AJ told Brian's brother. “It's way too cold to do this sort of thing.” Harold just laughed and shook his head at AJ.

“Kevin, you really gotta adapt this boy to the cold,” Harold said, his eyes shining on his cousin's.

“I've been tryin',” Kevin admitted playfully, throwing an arm around AJ's shoulders.

“Hey!” AJ shouted unhappily, his sparkler falling to the ground and dying immediately in the snow.

“Sorry, you can have mine,” Kevin said, handing his sparkler to AJ. Harold lit it again.

“Don't drop this one,” he said, and moved on.

“It's tradition,” Kevin told AJ as AJ watched the sparkler with wide brown eyes, “we've done this since we were kids, wanderin' out in the cold to play with fire.”

“I used to do this sort of thing on 4th of July,” AJ said. “Not for years, though.”

They fell silent and became hypnotized by the sparks of fire flickering off the tip of the sparkler in flower-like patterns. Kevin gently rubbed AJ's shoulder, and AJ moved closer into him for warmth.

Once the sparkler died off, they stayed there, molded to one another against the cold, watching Kevin's family around them laughing and enjoying each other.

“You ready to go back on the road tomorrow?” Kevin said into AJ's ear. AJ shook his head.

“Nah. I kinda just wanna stay here like this, with you, for a long while.”

Kevin nodded. He felt the same.

 

The next day, back at Kevin's mom's house, the boys were antsy. They packed up their things and sat around the living room waiting until the time they would depart for the airport. Brian had come with them, and was doing his best to ease the situation with an occasional corny joke, though he had no clue about the sparks that were traveling back and forth between his cousin and friend. He never did, after all, ask Kevin why the two of them had locked themselves in his room last night. He'd probably forgotten, with the imminence of a long German tour on the horizon clouding his thoughts.

They had a rehearsal during layover the second they were to arrive in New York City, and then they had a show the night they touched down in Switzerland. Kevin's stomach was knotted up with nerves. He usually got nervous before shows, and on top of that, he was reluctant to leave home again, to leave his mother, and to leave this thing he had going on so well with AJ. Would it still continue when they were traveling on a cramped bus together?

His thoughts flashed back to the previous night, he and AJ locked in that dark room together. The memory of AJ's breath was still so loud in his ear. He'd made AJ cum. He had made AJ McLean cum into his hand. He could still hear the amazing sound that AJ had choked out when it happened.

AJ had been about to return the favor after cleaning himself off with some tissues that Brian thankfully had sitting on his dresser. He'd no sooner fitted his hand down the tight waistband of Kevin's jeans that he had pulled it back out at the sound of Brian's voice searching for them.

Back in the present, Kevin cleared his head and crossed his legs. AJ was grinning at him.

Ann walked into the room, pulling on her coat and dangling her car keys in front of them.

“Okay, boys, let's get out of here.”


	4. Attachment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are back on the road and Kevin wants to move a bit too fast for AJ's taste.

Lou Pearlman was waiting for them when the boys arrived at their destination. If it was possible, he looked fatter and older than when Kevin had last seen him two weeks ago. Nick and Howie were already by the man's side, along with management, with Nick's mother browsing a sunglasses kiosk nearby. AJ's mom was to meet them out in Germany the next day. Even though AJ was eighteen, nineteen in less than two weeks, Denise couldn't bear to leave her boy alone, especially outside the United States, and AJ didn't mind, anyway. He loved his mom. He just hoped she wouldn't encroach too much on his time spent with the guys.

Lou greeted all three of them with a bear hug and a greasy smile.

“Hey, boys. You ready to get this show goin'? Van's waiting outside for us.”

“You look good,” Kevin said to Lou as the group departed the terminal, luggage in tow. “You lose some weight?”

Lou laughed heartily and clapped Kevin on the back.

“Y'know, sonny, I might have. Tried not to eat that much this Christmas and all that.”

Kevin gave a wan smile. “Good for you, Lou.”

 

AJ forced Nick to switch seats with him on the long flight to Zurich so that he could sit by Kevin. Nick was about to cause a scene, when the last thing the boys needed was to be kicked off that plane, so Kevin calmed him and promised Nick that he could sit by him on the flight back home, two months from then. Nick then proceeded to kick Howie out of his seat so he could sit by Brian. Howie ended up sitting by Nick's mom and didn't complain but gave Kevin a frustrated look that said it all.

This was going to be a long tour.

 

When they got off the plane they drove straight to the venue. From there, it was hasty warmups and stumbling to get blood back into their legs. And then they were on stage for an hour and fifteen sweaty, exhausting minutes.

When the show was over, they headed back to the hotel and ordered pizza, most of the group eating it in Nick's and Brian's room.

“Hey, Howie,” AJ said to his older friend, “I'm gonna room with Kevin tonight if that's cool.”

“Oh,” Howie said, seeming surprised. He and AJ always roomed together. He shrugged. “Yeah, sure, no problem.”

“And, um.... Probably tomorrow, too. And the day after that,” AJ went on.

Howie blinked at him.

“I see how it is,” he said, frowning and chewing his bite of pizza. “You like Kevin more than me now. The hell did you guys get up to in Kentucky?”

“D, that's not what I meant. I just – you're still my best friend,” AJ stammered. “I'm just trying to, y'know, get closer with Kevin. You know.”

“I don't know,” Howie said honestly. “But whatever makes you happy.”

“I'm sorry,” AJ tried.

Howie laughed. “AJ, I'm not mad at you.”

“Really? You sure?”

“Yeah. It'll be nice to have the single room to myself this tour,” Howie said with a shrug. “Lord knows it'll be great to not have someone constantly complaining about how loud I snore.”

“Okay...,” AJ said. “We good?”

“We're good,” Howie said, bumping AJ's fist with his. “We're all good.”

 

That night, things heated up again.

“Think we got some unfinished business to tend to,” Kevin growled, pulling AJ onto the bed with him the moment everyone was locked in for the night. On tour, locked in their own room in their own world, the boys were free to do whatever they wanted without worry of being caught. It was exciting, to say the least.

They kissed for a long time, until AJ started grinding his hips against Kevin's.

“Do you want some relief, baby?” Kevin breathed, placing his hand on the crotch of AJ's jeans.

“Would you mind?” AJ asked.

“Not at all. Lay down on your back,” Kevin directed. As he did, Kevin was straining in his pants, desperate to get out. He really hoped AJ would want to return the favor again, like he had tried to the last time. But first things first – AJ's pleasure was what Kevin was most concerned with.

AJ had showered earlier, so his sex scent wasn't too strong and was mixed with soap. Kevin unzipped AJ's pants, and swallowed a moan when he saw AJ's cock. This was the first time he'd actually seen it. He'd only felt it the other night, and it felt nice and all, but seeing it for real sent a spark of pleasure down Kevin's front. It was plump and the perfect size to fit in Kevin's hand. He cupped it, working it to full hardness, and watched as AJ threw his head back into the pillows and circled his hips contentedly. Kevin leaned down, still massaging AJ's cock, to kiss AJ's neck. AJ just about purred.

“You are beautiful,” Kevin told him in his ear. AJ sighed happily.

“You're beautiful, too, Kev,” he replied, “you are so hot. Can't believe someone as hot as you would want someone like me....”

“AJ, look at me,” Kevin said, frowning at that. AJ opened his eyes, which had closed on their own accord, to gaze at him. “What do you mean by that?” He stopped his movements on AJ's cock, and AJ pushed his hips up, trying to get him to keep going.

“What?”

“Someone like you?” Kevin pressed.

“Oh – I don't know. Ya know, I'm a little wild, I guess. Kinda different,” AJ explained, fixing his eyes past Kevin's shoulder. “Most people would probably think I'm not good enough for you.”

Kevin's heart sped up. That sounded familiar, but he couldn't place where he'd heard those specific words. It hurt his heart to think AJ felt that way – that he wasn't good enough for Kevin.

“Shit, AJ,” he said, leaning down and kissing AJ on the lips. “You are more than good enough for me. You're perfect for me, okay? You understand?”

“Sure,” AJ said.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

' _I love you'_ was at the tip of Kevin's tongue, but he knew it was too soon. It wouldn't be right. AJ would take it the wrong way. So he held back, and focused on bringing AJ off.

It only took a few minutes and some expert jerks of Kevin's wrist. AJ spurted, his nails digging into Kevin's shoulder for five whole seconds. And then AJ's body relaxed into the bed.

“I'd like for you to be my boyfriend,” Kevin said, lovingly stroking AJ's stomach, once AJ's breathing returned to normal. He hated to be overeager, but when it came to AJ, he didn't like taking things slow.

“Uh,” AJ said. “Um.”

 _Shit_ , Kevin thought, seeing that panicked look threatening to come across AJ's face. _Take it back. Just take it back_.

“I mean, you don't have to decide now,” Kevin amended, feeling embarrassed. “But maybe, you know, in the future....”

“Yeah, maybe,” AJ said. He looked over at Kevin, eyes sated. “We'd have to, like, tell people, though, wouldn't we? Like your mom. N' my mom. N' the guys.”

“Well,” Kevin fumbled. “Not right away, I guess.” He wasn't too crazy about the idea of telling his mom quite yet, anyway. And then it hit him – why AJ's words earlier had sounded familiar – those were exactly the words Mrs. Richardson had said when she thought Kevin had something romantic going on with AJ.

“Let's just take it slow,” AJ said, and Kevin felt rejection stirring in him, at the same time wanting to speak up about what his mother had said. AJ didn't want anyone to know that he and Kevin were together. Kevin's mom had probably made that even more difficult.... “And hey – um, did you still want me to....” AJ gestured down at Kevin's erection.

“Oh,” Kevin said, realizing. “Would you? Yes. Please.”

AJ kissed him, less passionately now. It felt forced after the conversation they'd just had. Kevin would have told him to stop, to just call it a night, but he was desperate and he'd not had the chance to get off for well over a week. Kevin was pretty sure he was going to explode if he didn't get some sort of release, soon.

And he did. Explode, that is. Just hearing AJ's soft breathing in his ear and feeling the younger man's hand squeezing him was plenty to throw him over the edge in under two minutes. He guided AJ's hand with his, giving him the tour of what would get him off fastest. He came, whining, all over his and AJ's hands. That was the best it had felt in a long while, Kevin decided. AJ touching him was everything he'd ever wanted. It was perfection.

Silently, each boy got up and cleaned off in the bathroom separately. When Kevin tucked himself into bed, he was more than disappointed that AJ didn't join him minutes later. Instead, the younger man climbed into the other one and fell asleep. Kevin was confused and a bit heartbroken.

 

“Hey, I think I'm gonna room with Howie tonight after all,” AJ said in passing the next day as the boys were getting out of the bus and heading into the hotel.

Kevin clenched his jaw, wanting to yell at AJ and tell him to be up front with what he wanted. But he restrained, knowing that AJ was good at holding grudges, and figuring AJ was just as confused as he was.

“Okay,” Kevin said stiffly. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to yell.

 

Howie seemed a bit concerned with AJ's situation.

“You and Kevin get in a fight?” he asked as AJ dug through his luggage for his pajamas.

“No,” AJ said with a shrug.

“I thought you wanted to stay with him every night,” Howie went on, stretching out on his bed and watching AJ. “You only stayed with him once.”

“What of it?”

“I dunno. I just thought maybe you wanted to talk about it, is all,” Howie said.

“Nope, I'm good,” AJ said, and disappeared into the bathroom.

 

Across the hall, Kevin was screaming up a storm. He was already having a bad night as it was, confusion about AJ rotting away his sensibility, and he was searching through his luggage only to realize that all of his shampoo and body wash had been replaced with flowery-scented women's products.

“NICKOLAS!” he raged, knowing exactly who had been the perpetrator, and burst out his room to go bleed the kid out.

An answering shriek of laughter down the hall led him to the boy 8 years his junior as Nick dove into his room to hide. Kevin was too quick, and got his foot in the door before Nick could shut it.

“Oh, come on, Kev, it wasn't even that mean of a prank,” Brian insisted quickly, standing in between his cousin and Nick when he realized that Kevin was dangerously fuming.

“Yeah,” Nick peeped from behind his shorter friend. “Now you can smell like fresh hydrangeas! I don't see the problem!”

“I'll show you hydrangeas,” Kevin growled, yanking Brian out of the way and tackling Nick onto the bed.

 

Triumphantly, and adorning a few battle scars (light scratches on his arms from Nick), Kevin returned to his room with his regular body wash and shampoo in hand.

 

The next day at breakfast, Howie wandered up to Kevin as he placed some french toast and eggs on a plate.

“You know, that was very awful of you last night,” Howie said quietly, and Kevin looked over.

“What?”

“Beating up on Nicky like you did,” Howie said, spooning some fruit salad into a bowl. “He's still just a kid. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“I didn't beat up on him,” Kevin said defensively. “I just held him in a headlock until he said he'd give me back my shampoo.”

“Yeah, well, you didn't have to go to that extreme,” Howie said sternly.

“Nick's sixteen,” Kevin pointed out. “He's old enough to accept the consequences of his actions. He doesn't need you or Brian defending him.”

“Yeah, well,” Howie said, “he doesn't need his role model constantly fighting with him over stupid pranks, either. He does that stuff to get your attention, you know. He looks up to you, and the least you can do is set a good example for him now and then and not blow up at every little thing he does.”

Kevin opened his mouth to protest but couldn't think of anything to say. Howie gave him a disappointed look and left the buffet to go sit next to the rest of the guys.

Damn Howard for always succeeding at making him feel like a total ass.

Noticing there was no more room to sit at the table with the rest of the boys, Kevin wandered over and sat with Lou and management and listened in as they went over that day's schedule.

 


	5. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin just can't keep away.

That day there was limited PR. A radio interview in the morning, and then the boys had the rest of the day off until rehearsal and the show. Kevin was hoping he could spend the day with AJ and work things out between them. He even asked around, with what limited German he knew, and found a restaurant he thought AJ would like that was just down the street from their hotel. After they ate, Kevin figured they could explore the town and do AJ's favorite thing – go shopping.

But AJ had already left with Howie, Kevin found out, when he approached Mrs. Carter and asked her where all the guys were.

“They went shopping for a few hours. Brian and Nick are playing basketball,” she saw Kevin grimace at that and added, “but myself and Denise are heading to the art museum if you'd like to come along.”

And that was how Kevin ended up spending the day with AJ's and Nick's mothers.

It wasn't half bad, Kevin decided, and the women spoiled him, buying him lunch and dessert while constantly keeping him engaged in discussion. It kept his mind off AJ, anyway, who seemed to be all he could think about anymore. The ladies seemed thrilled to heavens with a young man's input on things such as whether floral print was tacky when used as wallpaper, and whether bellbottoms were coming back in style. Kevin even helped Denise pick out a hat to buy AJ from the gift shop. In the museum, Kevin spent most of his time admiring late Renaissance pieces until Denise found him and told him it was time to go.

“Here,” Denise said, handing Kevin the bag with the hat in it. “Why don't you give it to him, since you picked it out?”

Kevin took it and nodded. “Okay. I will.” _If he'll even talk to me_ , Kevin added silently.

 

After dance rehearsal, Kevin took a seat by AJ on the ground. AJ crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hey,” Kevin greeted, smiling at his friend.

“Hi,” AJ said, looking around the room, as if desperate for a distraction. Thankfully, for Kevin, Howie was in the middle of a deep conversation with Nick about video games and Brian had disappeared into the bathroom.

“Your mom got this for you,” Kevin said, taking the hat out of the bag he'd brought with him and presenting it to AJ. AJ's eyes lit up and he took it, examining it with a smile on his face. “I picked it out,” Kevin added proudly.

“Oh.” AJ's smile faded, and he set the hat on his lap and looked away.

“Aren't you gonna try it on?” Kevin asked hopefully.

“Yeah – I guess,” AJ said, shrugging. He picked it up and pulled it onto his head. He turned and looked at Kevin expectantly.

“It looks great,” Kevin complimented. “I knew it'd look good on you. It's just like that other one you have, and I know you like yellow-”

“Yeah,” AJ interrupted, and looked away again. Kevin stopped talking.

They sat in silence for a while, and then AJ made a move as if he was going to stand.

“Alex -” Kevin said quietly, a hint of desperation in his tone as he placed his hand on AJ's wrist. “Please. I feel like you've been avoiding me. Will you just talk to me?”

AJ sighed and looked up at the ceiling, visibly frustrated.

“Kevin, I just – I like you and all. I just feel like you wanna move too fast, and it's freaking me out, okay?”

Kevin paled.

“Oh.”

AJ looked at him and sympathy washed across his face.

“It's not that I wanna stop what we've got going,” AJ tried, reaching out and gently touching Kevin's leg, “but I'm not used to this sort of thing. You're kind of smothering me, actually.”

Kevin looked down, ashamed.

“I'm sorry,” he said, feeling his eyes water up.

“It's okay,” AJ said. “I just need 'me time.' It doesn't mean I don't wanna be with you.”

Kevin sniffled and nodded.

“I just don't want you – ya know – constantly on me,” AJ finished. “Hey,” he added, and Kevin looked at him. “I like you, okay?”

Kevin nodded again. He swallowed hard, not wanting to act like a big baby in front of AJ. That would make AJ turn away even faster, if he acted immature on top of being overbearing. He looked down, and AJ squeezed his knee.

“Okay?” AJ repeated.

“Okay....”

“Nice hat,” Brian said, walking by the two of them and taking a swig from his water bottle, heading back to his rehearsal spot.

 

The next few nights, AJ didn't room with Kevin, and Kevin tried to let him have space. But it was hard.

 

After a particularly good show in a town Kevin still wasn't entirely sure how to pronounce, AJ surprised him by busting into his room with all of his bags.

“Stayin' with you tonight, old man,” AJ said, “Howie's sick.”

“Oh.” Kevin had sort of been hoping AJ had chosen this on his own accord. Then again, if staying with Kevin was truly that vile, AJ would have probably risked getting sick.

That night, AJ climbed into bed with Kevin and snuggled into him, pulling Kevin's arms around his waist. Kevin, resigned to knowing that AJ would never be predictable, pressed a kiss to the back of AJ's neck and fell asleep.

 

A few days later, Kevin was going to do everything in his power to make sure AJ had a nice birthday.

“I know you don't like when I smother you,” Kevin began the morning AJ turned 19, “but I'm getting you for the whole fucking day, and there's nothing you can do about it.”

“Okay,” AJ replied with a shrug. He looked up from where he'd been reading a magazine in the hotel's breakfast nook. “Hey, you're wearing the shirt I bought you.”

Kevin smiled and looked down at the black dress shirt, pleased that AJ had noticed his appearance. “Yeah.”

“I told you, you looked hot in it.”

Kevin blushed.

 

He took AJ out shopping after breakfast and told him to pick something out, that he would buy it for him. AJ picked a strange sheer maroon shirt adorned with sequins that Kevin grimaced at, but bought anyway. By itself it looked awful, but on AJ it would probably look decent at the very least. AJ had a way of making odd styles look good on his body. Still, Kevin was convinced AJ had found the shirt in the women's department. Or in the trash out back of the store.

After the show, Kevin took AJ to a bar and bought him a drink. AJ wasn't feeling the vibe, he said, but Kevin had the feeling he was interested in doing a little something else, so instead of hanging around, they returned to the hotel. Kevin was excited to administer his final gift.

The hotel wasn't the nicest one, and getting room service would require selling a limb. Kevin knew that AJ would appreciate pizza delivery as much as going to a fancy restaurant, so that's what Kevin got.

After they ate, they each showered, and Kevin waited eagerly for AJ to come out of the shower, checking his appearance numerous times in the mirror to make sure he looked irresistible.

“Now it's time for your present,” Kevin said, greeting AJ with a hug as he emerged from the bathroom. There were a few stray drops of water on the younger man's bare shoulders.

“Mm, what kind of present?” AJ asked, pressing his face into Kevin's chest.

“One you'll enjoy very much,” Kevin said, fingers playing with the drawstring of AJ's pajama pants, “involving my mouth...,” he kissed AJ's ear, “and your cock.”

He heard AJ's sudden intake of breath and knew AJ was going to be very satisfied with his present. He flattened his hand over AJ's crotch and pushed, and AJ pushed back, his fingers tightening on Kevin's waist.

They kissed their way over to the closest bed, and Kevin picked AJ up and dropped him onto it. Kevin grazed his hands up AJ's caramel-colored skin and placed his mouth on first one nipple, then the other. AJ stretched out beneath him like a cat and folded his arms behind his head, content to lay there while Kevin had his way.

Kevin took his time, kissing every inch of AJ's body, knowing that he might not always get a chance like this when AJ was so touchy and hard to predict. He kept it up until AJ was panting and begging and bucking his hips. And then he kissed him more, delving his tongue into AJ's mouth, stealing away his breath. AJ's fingers were all over Kevin's back at this point, pulling his shirt up, trying to feel every bit of smooth skin at once.

“Now, please, now,” AJ begged, thrusting his hips up. Kevin pulled down AJ's pants and placed his mouth where they'd been covering.

Never once had Kevin given oral sex to a male. He received once, from a male, a very attractive guy named Greg who was one of Kristin's old dancer friends from Disney World. It was in a bathroom stall in the Magic Kingdom, and as far as they were both concerned at the time, it was pretty magic. Greg's mouth had been better than any female's, even Kris. Their short break was over before Kevin had a chance to reciprocate, and so Kevin was left with no experience in this department, hoping he had beginner's luck on AJ.

By the sounds getting caught in AJ's throat, it seemed he was getting it right.

“Kevin,” the younger man whined, flinging his hands behind his head and gripping the pillow hard. He pushed up, and Kevin held him still so he wouldn't gag. He attempted to deep throat, but it wasn't going to happen unless AJ was really into the idea of Kevin heaving up the pizza they'd eaten earlier, so Kevin made up for his inability with his hands.

It worked.

AJ came fast, although a grateful Kevin found his jaw was already getting tired anyway. AJ's cum was sweet, so Kevin swallowed it while AJ's hands fell from their grip in his hair and landed with a bounce on the mattress.

“That was good,” AJ sighed, and when Kevin looked up, his eyes were shut. Kevin was straining, now, to get out of his pants, but tonight was about AJ and not him.

AJ didn't seem too interested in the idea of touching Kevin, anyway, because he didn't suggest it. So Kevin pulled AJ's pants back up for him, and curled them both up underneath blankets to fall asleep.

Kevin didn't think he dozed off for more than a couple minutes before he felt AJ grinding his body against him.

“C'mon, Kev, babe,” AJ whispered, forcing his leg between Kevin's thighs. Kevin humped AJ roughly, while AJ encouraged him, until he came in his underwear with a happy sigh. “That's good,” AJ said, patting Kevin's shoulder as Kevin came back down. “So hot, so good....” He turned around and wiggled into Kevin's embrace, and they drifted off.

 


	6. We're Not A Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin and AJ get in their first real fight.

Things were okay for a while after that. AJ would stay with Kevin most nights, stealing away to Howie's room on occasion when he needed 'a bit of a break.' Kevin still wasn't used to AJ's sporadic ways but accepted them; after all, if he compromised by laying off occasionally, he could keep AJ. And deep down inside, he knew AJ would eventually get past this phase and want to be with him always.

 

Kevin didn't realize how thin of ice he was stepping on when it came to this. AJ was desperately looking for an out because he felt like a caged animal. Kevin was commitment. Kevin was solid and lifelong and steady. AJ wasn't ready for that, not yet. He was still a teenager. Kevin had been a teenager, too, but was looking for a little more than that these days.

 

Kevin was out back of a venue in Berlin because he'd forgotten his wallet on the bus. He slipped it in his pocket, noticed he was locked out of the door he'd left through, and so took the long way around the club.

Past the garbage disposals there was another door that he knew was open. As he rounded the corner, he spotted AJ outside the door, with a few German stagehands nearby chatting idly. Kevin was about to offer a friendly greeting when he noticed what was in AJ's hand.

“AJ,” Kevin said loudly, approaching the group, his 'authority' voice screwed on tight, “what, exactly, do you think you're doing?”

AJ looked up. His eyes widened for a split second, just enough to show a flicker of fear. And then he put a mask on and gave Kevin a cool look. He put the cigarette between his lips and took a long pull, before releasing it and blowing out a stream of smoke.

“Nothin',” he said simply.

Kevin reached him and set his face with a glare that could kill.

“Where did you get that?” he asked, pointing at the cigarette, and throwing an accusing look at the men nearby.

“Bought it,” AJ said with a shrug. “Some drug market down the street, if you gotta know.”

“How long have you been smoking?”

“I dunno,” AJ said, “a few months. Why?” He fixed a challenging stare to Kevin's angry one.

“You're not allowed to smoke,” Kevin said, stiffening.

“Yes, I am. Kevin, I'm nineteen, in case you've forgotten. It's perfectly legal,” AJ said, waving him off. Kevin's blood boiled.

“That doesn't mean you should be doing it,” Kevin said. “Who the hell got you started? Who told you to smoke?”

“Did it on my own,” AJ shrugged again. Kevin was getting beyond frustrated with his attitude.

“AJ, you're a vocalist,” Kevin seethed, and the Germans looked at him warily. “Smoking will ruin your voice and it causes cancer. You're going to kill yourself if you do that.”

“I'll be fine, Kev. Geez, get off my dick,” AJ said, taking another pull of his cigarette. He blew the smoke directly in Kevin's face, and Kevin snapped.

He grabbed AJ's wrist, and AJ let out a whine of pain. He pried the cigarette out of AJ's fingers, threw it on the ground, stomped on it, and released the smaller man.

That did it.

AJ charged forward and shoved Kevin as hard as he could. Kevin stumbled backwards, barely catching himself.

“What the fuck, Kevin? Do you think you're my fucking dad? Is that it?” AJ yelled.

Kevin gaped at him.

“Well, you know what? You're not,” AJ went on, hands balled into fists at his sides. “You're not my dad, because no one's ever been my fucking dad!”

“AJ, I don't want to be your dad,” Kevin tried, faltering slightly but keeping his voice level, barely resisting the urge to shove AJ into the wall behind him. If he shoved him, maybe he could shove sense into him.

“Oh, right – that's right, cause if you were, you wouldn't be able to fuck me,” AJ said. “That's it, isn't it?” Kevin's temper just about exploded. “Well you know what? How about you just fuck off completely and leave me the hell alone, you sick fuck?”

Kevin saw red, and the next thing he knew was the sickening sound of AJ's back and head hitting the brick wall behind him. He felt arms around him, pulling him back, presumably the stagehands. He heard yelling in German and saw AJ pulling away from the wall, placing his hand on the back of his head.

“Kevin?”

The familiar voice sounded scared. A warm hand wrapped around his wrist, firmly. Kevin struggled free from the stagehands and launched at AJ again, but that hand stayed tightly on him, holding him back. He turned when he realized he was stuck and saw Nick's worried face looking at him.

“Kevin, stop,” Nick pleaded, “you've made your point.”

Kevin calmed slightly, and Howie's words rang through his head. _He looks up to you, and the least you can do is set a good example for him now and then._... The older man was overtaken with guilt, and he glanced back at AJ, who was still holding his head. He wanted to ask if AJ was okay, but his pride forced the words back.

“Kevin, come with me,” Nick said, tugging on Kevin's arm. Kevin didn't move. “Kevin, come _on_.” He tugged again.

Kevin followed blankly as Nick led him back into the venue. He didn't respond when AJ called after him.

“Fuck you, Kevin!” he heard AJ shout, “Fuck you!”

 

“What happened?” Nick asked, settling Kevin down on one of the couches in the dressing room, and handing him a bottle of water. He sat beside Kevin and gently rubbed his shoulder. Kevin didn't speak. He opened the water and took a sip.

“Everything okay?” asked a concerned Brian from where he sat on the floor doing butterfly stretches.

“He totally got in a big fight with AJ,” Nick explained, and Kevin stiffened beside him, wishing Nick would shut up. “AJ shoved him n' he shoved back. I think he shoved AJ a bit hard, knocked him into the wall pretty good.”

“I didn't mean to,” Kevin said softly.

“What was the fight about?” Brian asked, frowning.

“AJ smoking,” Nick responded, patting Kevin's back. “AJ got real mad when Kevin told him he should stop.”

“Shit,” Brian said, to no one in particular. After a while, he added, “I didn't even know AJ smoked!”

Nick shrugged. “I did. He told me not to tell you, cause you'd tell Kev, though.”

“Does his mom know?” Brian asked.

Nick shrugged again. “Don't think so.”

“Huh,” Brian said, and focused back on stretching.

“I think I'll go find Howie,” Nick decided, getting up, “and get him to talk with AJ.”

 

By showtime, Kevin still hadn't apologized. He didn't plan to. It's not like he'd even done anything wrong. AJ was the one completely at fault here; Kevin had only been concerned about AJ's health, and AJ had shoved him first. He still couldn't get over the way AJ had yelled at him. He'd meant every word and Kevin was still lost in trying to figure out how they'd gotten this way.

Everything had been fine in Kentucky.

Kevin had done his best to give AJ space, but it wasn't enough. The boys always fought more in close quarters, that was nothing new; but it had never been this bad, not between Kevin and AJ. They never got mad at each other. AJ had never yelled at Kevin. Out of all of them, AJ was usually the one that respected Kevin the most, and listened to what he had to say at the very least, if not followed his advice. Now, Kevin wasn't sure how to act around AJ.

 

After the show, none of them spoke until they got to the hotel. The rest of the guys were silent observers, witnessing the first real fight between Kevin and AJ. And unfortunately, it wouldn't be the last. AJ went straight to his room without speaking to Kevin, which didn't surprise the older man.

 

“Do you want to talk?”

Kevin shook his head and sat heavily on his hotel bed. “No. Not with you, anyway. Go get Brian.”

Nick bit his lip and bowed his head. He looked, for a moment, like he was going to obey, but he didn't.

“Y'know, Kev,” he said, looking back up and stepping towards him, “I may be a kid to you, but I can tell things are messed up between you and AJ – you're all close with him one minute, and then the next you guys totally ignore each other. I don't know why you don't think I wouldn't understand, or you don't feel comfortable talkin' to me or whatever, but Kevin, I'm your friend, and I'm standing right here and I wanna know what's wrong. If you don't wanna talk to me, then whatever, but you can go get Brian yourself.”

Kevin regretted letting Nick into his room. At the same time, a part of him urged to tell someone the whole story, someone on the outside who wouldn't automatically take sides. That was why he'd avoided going to Howie, assuming Howie would side with AJ, since they were closer.

With Nick, though – Nick was young and didn't know Kevin was bisexual – no one knew (except with the obvious exception of AJ) – and Kevin wasn't all that sure Nick even knew what bisexual was. Plus, he wasn't sure he wanted Nick to be the first person to know.

“Fine,” Kevin said, “but don't go, like, telling everyone this. No one else knows.”

Nick crossed his heart. “I'm good at keepin' secrets, you know this!” He eagerly sat beside Kevin on the bed and draped his arm over Kevin's shoulder. “Tell me everything!”

Kevin grumbled. “Okay, fine. Just don't freak out about it.”

He told Nick that he and AJ had been romantic together, leaving out some of the more intimate details.

“You guys, like, kissed n' stuff?” Nick asked. “Did you do more than that?”

“I – uh, well, yes,” Kevin said. Nick looked intrigued. Kevin gave him a foul look. “I'm not gonna tell you what we did!”

Nick waved him off. “That's fine, whatever. So what's up AJ's butt, then?” He laughed, realizing what he said, “Er, besides you, I mean.”

“Nick!” Kevin exclaimed.

“Sorry,” Nick shrugged. “So why's AJ being all mean to you?”

“I don't know. That's the problem,” Kevin said, “I wish I knew, so I could fix it.”

“Maybe he just needs space.”

Kevin growled at that. “I feel like that's all I've been giving him! It's not like I can go halfway across the world to hide. We're kinda limited here as far as that goes.”

“Talk to him,” Nick said.

“Jesus Christ, Nick, he doesn't let me,” Kevin groaned, irritated.

“Well – I don't know. Just keep trying,” Nick said, shrugging.

“Easy for you to say,” Kevin said, and flopped down onto his back, feeling hopeless.

“Good luck, Kev,” Nick told him, patting him on the stomach before pushing off the bed and leaving the room. “Me n' Brian are goin' out for pizza if you wanna come along,” he added over his shoulder. Kevin grunted.

 

20 minutes, Kevin was sat across from his cousin and Nick in a booth at a pizzeria.

“I'm so sick of pizza,” he said, glaring hard at the menu.

“I'm sick of your attitude!” Brian snapped, and Kevin glanced up, surprised. Brian busted out laughing when he saw the incredulous look on the older man's face. “Dude, I was kidding, Kev!”

“For real, why aren't we eating real German food, though?” Kevin went on, once Brian and Nick had stopped giggling.

Brian shrugged. “You didn't have to come. Howie and AJ went out to some restaurant down the street. You shoulda gone with them.”

Nick kicked him under the table.

“He doesn't wanna be with AJ right now,” Nick hissed. He met Kevin's eyes; Kevin nodded at him, and Nick smiled, happy to please.

“Why's that? Oh, right,” Brian said before anyone could answer, remembering the argument he'd heard about earlier. “That's so funny. You guys were all cozy in my bedroom just a couple weeks ago.”

“Ewww! Brian's bedroom?” Nick exclaimed, then wrinkled his nose and added, “Wait, I thought you told me no one else knew, Kevin!”

Kevin choked on the gulp of water he'd just drank.

“Knew what, Kev?” Brian asked curiously.

“That he and AJ – oh – wait... you don't know, do you?” Nick said, catching on as Kevin coughed repeatedly. “Never mind!”

“He and AJ what?” Brian pushed.

Nick pretended to zip his mouth shut, and made a show of training his gaze forward, staring at the booth. Kevin finally cleared his throat, and dropped his head in his arms on the table, the image of despair.

“Think you killed him,” Brian pointed out. He gently pushed Nick. “He and AJ what? Tell me.”

“Can't, you'll have to get Kevin to tell you himself.”

Brian took to tickling Nick on the back of the neck. This got no further information out of the young blonde; it only succeeded in having him end up halfway on the floor underneath the table when the waitress came by to get their orders. The subject was dropped, and the Boys ordered their pizza.

 

Kevin thought he was home free as he set foot back into his hotel room that night, but Brian hadn't forgotten that he had answers to receive.

He slipped in after Kevin so quietly that Kevin couldn't contain his gasp of surprise when he turned to shut the door and saw his cousin there.

“Jesus, Brian...,” he sighed, clutching his heart.

“You and AJ....”

“It's nothing.”

“It ain't nothin',” Brian insisted, folding his arms over his chest and giving Kevin that piercing blue stare. “If it were nothin', you wouldn't have freaked over it tonight.”

“I didn't freak over it. Nick freaked over it.”

“You're not as good a liar as you think,” Brian told him.

Kevin set his jaw and placed his hands on his hips, looking away. He wasn't planning on all of this happening tonight. Besides, it was nearly 2:00AM and he just wanted to go to sleep.

“What were you n' AJ doing in my room that night?” Brian asked.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Kevin begged, and strode over to his bed before falling face-first onto it.

He heard his cousin sigh and felt the bed depress next to him. Brian put his hand on Kevin's shoulder.

“What's up, cous? You seem so stressed lately,” Brian said. “Um, were you and AJ...?”

When Kevin didn't give Brian the courtesy of finishing his sentence for him, Brian swallowed audibly and began again, “Were you n' AJ, um..., kissin'? In my room?”

“Might've been,” Kevin mumbled into the mattress.

“Oh,” Brian said, and thought about it, “oh, wow. I mean, I guess it makes sense now. I just never thought....”

Kevin grunted.

“So, like, are you and AJ a thing?”

Kevin squeezed his eyes shut.

“If we were, we sure ain't anymore.”

“It couldn't have been that bad, surely,” Brian tried, massaging Kevin's shoulder gently.

Kevin tilted his face up, blinked at his cousin.

“He's pissed at me. He's never been mad at me like that before.”

“Well,” Brian said, “that's cause – that's cause you guys are a couple, you know? And couples get into fights sometimes.”

“We're not a couple. I shoved him into a wall,” Kevin whined, and flipped over onto his back. Brian sat there, cross-legged, and watched him for a while. “Besides, I have deeper feelings for him than he does for me.”

“How do you know? Did he tell you?”

Kevin stared blankly at the ceiling.

“No, not directly. But he said I was smotherin' him. He doesn't even wanna be near me. And then this afternoon happened.”

Brian was silent for a while, contemplating how to respond.

“It's alright,” Kevin spoke for him, “I'll get over it. I just want him to talk to me again, I just want us to be friends again....”

“Aw, Kev.... You know, I see you care about AJ a lot, and I know that AJ cares a lot about you, too, so if you just talk to him, I'm sure you can work things out.”

“Yeah, well,” Kevin sighed, “that's what Nick told me. Maybe I'll try talkin' to him tomorrow.”

Brian seemed satisfied with that. He patted Kevin on the arm.

“Good boy,” he said, and he rolled on top of Kevin, squeezing him into a hug. Kevin, suddenly hyper-aware that he had had AJ naked in that very position nights ago, stiffened uncomfortably, and waited for his cousin to let go. His cock hardened against his will, and as Brian sat up, giving him a strange look, Kevin whimpered, subtly shifting his hips. Brian's weight felt good on him, and he thought about how desperately he needed sex, and pushed up onto his arms, forcing Brian to move off of him.

“Thanks,” Kevin said, and cleared his throat, “for the talk.”

“Yeah, sure,” Brian said, oblivious, or at least putting on a good show of it, as he stood and headed for the door. “I hope you figure everything out.”

“I'll try,” Kevin said.

“Good night, cous.”

“Night, Brian.”

“Oh, hey, Kev,” Brian said, pausing by the door, “um... so, like, do you like dudes now, or something?”

Kevin groaned, half asleep already. “I'm bisexual,” he grunted.

“Oh – so you like boys and girls! Does Aunt Ann know?”

“Nope.”

“Are you gonna tell her?”

“I don't know,” Kevin said, “Brian, can we talk about this later? I just wanna go to sleep.”

“Okay. Sorry. Bye.”

“Bye, Brian.”

“Good night!” Brian called, shutting the door after him. Kevin turned out the light.


	7. Sharing Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AJ's back on Kevin again. Brian's not too happy about when Kevin and AJ can't keep to themselves.

The next day, Lou presented them with some horrific news.

“It's not in the budget for you Boys to be separate roomin' it,” he told them with too bright a smile over their breakfast meeting. “One room for y'all, one room for your moms, one room for me, and one room for management. That's how it goes for the next week and a half 'til we head home. You can make some sort of a game of sharing beds.”

“What?” AJ cried.

“What kind of game?” Brian said excitedly.

“Give Howie or Kevin the cot,” Nick exclaimed.

“Hey!” Howie shouted.

Kevin didn't say anything.

 

Seeing as AJ had another reason to be sour all day, Kevin didn't bother trying to talk with him. He didn't even notice the numerous times AJ tried to smile at him throughout the day.

 

“Nick, go stay with our moms so we each get a bed,” AJ was arguing that night in their room.

“I'm NOT staying with my mom,” Nick shouted stubbornly.

“Well, I ain't stayin' with 'em.”

“Well, then, you take the cot.”

“Hell no,” AJ said, “you're the youngest, you take it.”

“I'm bigger than you!” Nick said.

“Barely,” AJ told him.

“Give it a few years! Kevin says I'll be taller than him one day!”

“Howie said he'd take the cot,” Kevin said from where he was lying next to Brian, watching TV, “if you two will shut the fuck up.”

“I never said that,” Howie peeped, frowning. He was currently in the middle of a long-distance call home to his mom at the edge of the room.

“Fuck you, Kevin,” AJ said.

“AJ!” Brian shouted, “language!”

“Fuck you, too,” AJ shrugged.

Brian looked stricken.

“Kevin, why can't you take it?” Nick tried.

“Cause I'm the biggest and I'm the oldest, that's why,” Kevin said.

“Jesus Christ,” Howie said exasperatedly, having hung up the phone, “I'll take the fucking cot. All of you are children!”

Everyone blinked at him; there was a long, drawn-out silence.

Finally, Nick said, “Cool!” and hopped on top of where Kevin was laying.

“Get up,” the young blonde said.

“No,” Kevin said.

“But I always sleep with Brian! Go sleep with AJ!” Nick said. “Get up!” Kevin tried to shove him off, but he didn't budge.

“Nick,” Brian cautioned gently.

“Brian,” Nick whined. And then he suddenly realized why Kevin didn't want to sleep in the same bed as AJ. “Oh, oops, I-”

“Fine,” Kevin spat, and Nick got off him so he could move to the other bed. Without looking at AJ, Kevin slipped under the sheets and turned away from everyone else.

“Good night everybody!” Brian said cheerfully, and turned off the lights .

 

It was quiet for a while except for soft breathing. Howie eventually started snoring. Kevin was surprised when, out of the blue, he felt AJ tap his side.

“What?” he muttered quietly.

“Can I....”

“Can you what, AJ?” Kevin mumbled a little louder, not hiding his irritation.

“Shh,” Brian said.

“Sorry,” AJ said, and then softly, to Kevin, “can I?”

Kevin felt the bed shake slightly as AJ pushed close to him. He wrapped his arm around Kevin's waist, enveloping him in heat. When Kevin didn't move, AJ tightened his arm. He could feel, through AJ's pants, that the younger man was hard. AJ pressed his nose against Kevin's shoulder.

“AJ, go away,” Kevin said without thinking.

“But I thought....”

“Go. Away.”

“Okay.”

AJ's warmth was gone again. But knowing it was only a few inches away on the next pillow made Kevin want to cry.

 

Kevin was so confused. One minute, he and AJ were screaming at each other or not talking, the next, AJ was all over him. He thought AJ didn't like him the way he liked AJ, but the younger man trying to cuddle up to him last night despite their recent fight had Kevin fifty shades of unsure.

 

AJ clung to him most of the next day, even following him into bathrooms. Apparently, Kevin decided, he should tell AJ to go away more often, because it had the opposite effect – the effect which Kevin desired. He had told himself he could get over AJ, but he really didn't want to, now that it seemed he knew how to work the younger man. All he had to do was play hard to get.

Or something.

AJ would stand by him in the bathrooms while he relieved himself, lecherously eying Kevin's cock.

“What are you doing?” Kevin asked on the second occurrence of this.

“Nothin',” was AJ's reply. Kevin had been hoping his response was going to be 'I want you to fuck me against the wall,' but he figured he couldn't have everything.

“You keep lookin' at me,” he said.

AJ shrugged and wandered away, only to rejoin Kevin's side when the older man exited the bathroom.

 

After the show, as they walked off stage, AJ groped Kevin's butt. Hard.

“We sharin' beds again tonight?” AJ rasped as he passed him.

“Jesus,” Kevin said out loud.

 

Kevin was hard as hell, and didn't deny AJ tonight. He was pretty sure it was beyond his capabilities to do so, anyway. Brian and Nick were a bed over, and Howie was fast asleep again, keeping the other boys awake with his snoring. AJ kissed Kevin and rolled their bodies together under the sheets. The bed squeaked under their weight.

“You want it?” AJ whispered, “You want me?”

“Yeah,” Kevin breathed, acutely aware of his cousin and other band mates just feet away.

AJ wiggled his hand down Kevin's pajama pants and started to jerk him off. AJ swirled his tongue around Kevin's mouth, which stayed agape as the older one tried not to breath too loudly in fear of the others hearing what they were up to. If Brian and Nick were awake, though, there was no doubt they would be able to tell what was happening. It was too quiet not to be able to.

Kevin wanted to moan like a whore. He thrust his hips up and accidentally bit AJ's tongue. AJ scratched his shoulder, and their knees bumped painfully as AJ shifted so he could rub himself against Kevin's thigh. Kevin winced as AJ elbowed a spot on him that had gotten bruised at the show earlier, and AJ slid down his body, disappearing completely under the sheets. Not that Kevin could see much of him in the dark; AJ was just a large black shape in Kevin's vision, blocking the slightly lighter black shapes in the rest of the room. Kevin bit his lip as AJ's mouth enveloped his cock. AJ rested his arms on Kevin's pelvis as he sucked tightly. Kevin squeezed his eyes shut and covered his mouth with the sheet, hoping to all hell that his cousin wasn't hearing the wet, slurping sounds AJ's mouth was making.

Kevin clawed his friend's shoulders when AJ's teeth grazed a little too roughly, and AJ was more careful this time. For this being AJ's assumed first blow, Kevin thought he was doing a swell job. The older man's mind moved away from that and all other thoughts, clouding as he came closer and closer to the edge. And then he felt AJ touch him between his legs and he rocketed up into bliss, draining himself into AJ's relentless mouth.

As he came back down, he hoped to God he hadn't moaned out loud. It was absurdly quiet in the room except for the loud sound of his own shaking breaths he tried desperately to hold back, and the wet sound of AJ's tongue cleaning him off. After a minute, Kevin's heartbeat slowed down, and he heard Howie's snoring pick back up.

“God,” he breathed, feeling lightheaded. AJ shifted up, his sweaty legs tangling with Kevin's as his head popped back up, obscuring what little night vision Kevin had obtained. He straddled him, and Kevin noticed AJ had at some point lost his boxers, because he could feel the coarse hair of AJ's sex and the weight of his balls against his own. It kept him hard.

“Good, Kev?” AJ whispered, kissing his neck, sweetly rolling their cocks together.

“Yeah,” Kevin replied shakily, glancing over at the other bed, though he couldn't see anything. He hoped to God Brian and Nick were fast asleep.

“You wanna fuck me?” AJ asked, and Kevin remained lightheaded, blood rushing down south again. He bucked his hips.

“We can't right now,” Kevin whispered, “not like this. The other guys'll hear.”

“I don't care, we'll be quiet, I wanna do it,” AJ said, and shifted forward a bit before shoving his ass down and grinding on Kevin's cock. Kevin was so gone. He placed his hands on AJ's thighs and dug his nails in as he felt AJ trying to guide Kevin's cock inside him with one hand.

“It's not goin'...,” AJ breathed. And then the tip breached through the tight opening and Kevin dug his nails in AJ's skin harder.

This wasn't how Kevin envisioned their first time at all. He'd always pictured AJ laid out beneath him on his own bed back home in Florida, legs spread, looking at him lovingly with daylight cast upon his tan face. Their own special moment, all alone, where Kevin could actually see his friend and could prepare him properly and make love to him.

Not some hasty, dirty moment in the dark.

AJ didn't seem in much pain for being a virgin as he forced himself down. Kevin helped, involuntarily thrusting up, needing more tight heat. He was in all the way.

This was a first, Kevin realized. He'd never had sex with someone while there were other people in the room. Granted, they were sleeping, so there was no voyeurism occurring, but... it was easily the riskiest thing Kevin had ever taken part in.

“God you feel so...,” AJ tapered off, and started grinding his hips frantically. Kevin's eyes fell shut and he let AJ do what he pleased. The bed was shaking and squeaking quietly now, but Kevin couldn't bring himself to give half a damn, not when this felt so good. He hadn't had sex in nearly...God, six months, he realized, remembering the last time he'd been with Kris. He was pretty sure this was a hundred times better, a thousand times better. Yes, Kris was beautiful, and she was amazing in bed, but AJ.... AJ was perfection.

AJ's breath was so loud in Kevin's ear, he swore it was so loud in the room. AJ touched him all over, squeezing him and groping whatever skin he could fit under his hands. Kevin swore the bed was going to collapse on them. Finally, AJ latched his teeth onto Kevin's collar bone and sped up his thrusts. His breath hitched, and he bucked a few more times, and Kevin felt his sperm splatter his stomach.

“Whoa,” AJ whispered shakily as he came down, amazed. “I didn't even have to touch it....”

He lifted himself off of Kevin, who had been so close to a second orgasm, and rustled around in the dark. He came back with some sort of sheet which Kevin recognized as a pillowcase, and wiped Kevin and himself clean. Then, with the dirtied pillowcase, he jerked Kevin off twice.

Kevin melted into the bed after the last orgasm, falling asleep instantly.

 

“Can I talk to you alone, Kev?”

_Oh, shit._ Brian was pissed about something. Kevin could tell from the way his features were pinched and his eyes were squinted. Even his cheeks were red.

“Yeah, sure,” Kevin said bemusedly, and followed his cousin down the hall of the small backstage area and into...a broom closet.

Kevin glanced around blankly at the cleaning contents surrounding him. Brian slammed the door shut, rattling some of the products sitting on shelves. Kevin was pretty sure he hadn't even noticed the door to this closet all day, though he was sure he must've passed it half a dozen times. He pondered that as Brian glared at him with his arms folded across his chest.

“What's up?” Kevin asked finally, leaning against a cardboard box.

Brian threw his arms to his sides.

“'What's up?' I'll tell you what the _fuck_ is up,” Brian snarled, and Kevin shrank away, surprised and suddenly very intimidated by the much shorter blonde man. He could count on one hand the amount of times he'd actually heard Brian curse in his lifetime. That was number four.

“You and AJ fucking in our hotel room, that's what's up!” Brian yelled. Number five.

“Oh, shit,” Kevin said out loud.

“Did you actually think me and Nicky were asleep?” Brian asked. “Jesus Christ, Kevin, how stupid could you be? Five feet away from us! Nick's under-aged, you sick fuck!” Six. That was two hands, now. “Did you even think about that? Huh? Did you even think about who could hear you, who could _see_ you?”

“No, I didn't,” Kevin responded, looking down, face flushing in embarrassment. He couldn't believe his own cousin had witnessed him having sex.... “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry's not gonna cut it, Kev,” Brian spat. “What you did was sick! Okay? I have no problem whatsoever with you and AJ being together, but if you're gonna do it, keep it the hell away from me and Nick, okay? And Howie, too! You need to keep private matters private! Either keep it in your pants or pay for another room yourself!”

Kevin was pretty sure Brian had never yelled at him. Ever. It made him a bit nervous.

“Okay,” he said weakly.

“Okay?” Brian asked.

“Okay,” Kevin repeated. He wanted to blame AJ for the whole situation. Why was Brian yelling at him, when he should've been telling AJ not to go around fucking people in their hotel room? Feeling slightly indignant, Kevin bit his tongue as he watched Brian visibly calm and nod his head.

“Alright. Let's put on a good show tonight, okay?” His youthful smile was back, and he patted Kevin on the shoulder before letting them both out of the closet. Kevin just stood there for a while, trying to get his brain to work, before going to find a spot to warm up his voice.


	8. Orlando

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are back home for a month before their rigorous touring schedule resumes. Things might be going well for Kevin and AJ. Until Kristin stops by and confuses Kevin further.

“Kev, you promised I could sit by you on the plane home,” Nick pouted, throwing a glare at AJ.

“Sorry, Nick,” Kevin said, not really sorry. “AJ's sitting here.”

“You're a jerk,” Nick told him, and suddenly Kevin did feel like a jerk, when Nick turned away and went and sat next to Brian, moodily pulling out his Gameboy.

Kevin looked down at his lap sadly, and watched as AJ placed his hand over his. They entwined their fingers, and Kevin met AJ's gaze. A comforting smile lit up the younger man's face, and it was contagious. So Kevin fucked things up with the other guys a little bit on this tour run.... He had what he wanted now. He had AJ, and he would do whatever he had to in order to keep him.

He still felt like an idiot about having sex with AJ in front of the other guys. He knew if he'd been in Brian's shoes, he would have been thoroughly disgusted with himself. Hell, he _was_ disgusted with himself. And embarrassed. He couldn't believe his desire for AJ had allowed him to become so dimwitted and disregarding. But hopefully it was behind them now. He would be more careful. He would be more private.

It was just, when it came to AJ, he could still barely contain his urges to touch him, no matter where they were and who they were with. Hell, he'd make out with AJ the entire plane ride back if he could. He wanted to touch him inappropriately. He was addicted to making AJ feel good.

A thought about joining the mile-high club flickered across his mind, but Kevin quickly shot that down. He would – and could – exercise restraint. After all, he wasn't some hormonal teenager anymore. He wasn't a kid. He was a man, and he would take his time, learning all the ways he could be with AJ while they developed their relationship.

He smiled as AJ sighed and snuggled into him. They stayed that way for a few minutes until the flight attendants came by directing everyone to buckle into their seatbelts. As soon as they were up in the air again, however, AJ was back in Kevin's arms, and the boys slept most of the way back to the United States.

 

They had a month off before they were meant to go back to Germany for the entire summer. AJ didn't call Kevin the first week, which normally wouldn't have surprised Kevin, since they'd just spent so much time together. But he was itching to be near AJ, couldn't stop thinking of him, and worried that AJ wasn't feeling the same way. Because if he was, why wouldn't he call Kevin?

Kevin called a few times once four days had passed, only once getting an answer, and that was from AJ's mom. She sweetly told him she'd have AJ call back that night. Kevin even forewent going out with Howie and a few friends to a club later on, staying in with Brian and watching a movie. AJ didn't call.

 

Kristin showed up by that Saturday, and Kevin couldn't contain his excitement to see her. Her skin was glowing from the Florida sun and her hair was blonder than he remembered it. They embraced at the doorway to Kevin's apartment, and Brian quickly left them alone, making some excuse about having to go to town for, “some groceries or somethin'.”

AJ's emotive brown eyes fell to the back of Kevin's mind when he saw Kristin's sultry brown ones.

“Hey, Kevin!” she greeted as Kevin breathed in the scent of her hair. “You have dinner yet? I was thinking we could go back to that diner we went that one time. Remember, with the fish you really liked?”

“That sounds great,” Kevin said, releasing her, his eyes speeding to take in her appearance, “let me just go get ready real quick.”

 

Kevin spent dinner telling Kristin all about his travels in Germany over the last couple months. He even mentioned spending his holiday with AJ, though left out the intimate details. Kristin was still working at Disney, though she was also teaching kids part time at a dance academy.

“So did you miss me while I was gone?” Kevin asked, flirtatiously batting his eyelashes.

“You know,” Kristin said, smirking, “I've been keeping busy. But I just might have missed you, just a little bit.”

 

They made out in Kevin's truck for a long time. Kevin had all but forgotten AJ, only justifying it with, “Well, if he wanted me, he would've called me by now.” It felt good to be in the arms of someone who Kevin had no doubts about. He knew Kristin loved him, and he loved her. With AJ, he worried too much. Worried AJ would turn around and hate him. Worried AJ would think he wasn't worth it. Kristin thought Kevin was worth it. At least, Kevin figured that was why she kept coming back to him.

Whenever they broke up, they didn't really “break up.” They just stopped seeing each other as much, and ceased having sex. It was never celebratory when they got back together – they just fell back into their old patterns, hanging over each other and calling each other at night.

Kevin didn't think much of it when Kristin said they should hang out again on Monday. He agreed right away.

Brian was already home (without any groceries), and Kristin made an excuse to not stay the night, though Kevin swore she had wanted to. She and Kevin kissed goodbye, and she left.

 

“Kris didn't come in?” Brian asked, surprised, as Kevin walked in the door alone.

“Nah,” he said.

“I could leave again. But Howie will probably be home soon, anyway.”

“It's no worry. We're gonna see each other again on Monday.”

“That mean you two are back together?”

Kevin grabbed two beers from the fridge and joined Brian on the couch in front of the television, handing Brian one of the drinks.

“I don't think so,” Kevin said, shrugging. He took a swig of his beer, then frowned. “I mean, last time we broke up, she didn't really seem interested in getting back together. Sayin' all how she was busy with her career n' stuff, and how it wasn't a good time for either of us. But today it seemed different. Like things were back to where they used to be. I don't know.”

“Aren't you still with AJ?” Brian asked, eyes flickering off the television to glance briefly at his cousin. Kevin coughed, choking a bit on his beer. Talking about AJ with Brian was still a bit embarrassing.

“I don't know. I don't know if we're even technically 'with' each other. He's a bit skittish on committing to anything.”

“Well, you guys looked cute together on the plane,” Brian told him.

“Aww,” Kevin cooed, “Thanks, cuz.”

“Ha. I think you should talk to him before you get back with Kris. He deserves that, don't you agree?”

“Yeah,” Kevin said, “too bad he won't call me back.”

Brian frowned.

Both men fell silent for a few seconds, immediately getting caught up in the basketball game on television before them.

“Shit, I forgot Kentucky was even playin' tonight!”

Brian gasped.

“What a sin!”

Kevin smacked him on the thigh.

“Be quiet, church boy!”

“It's cute how your accents come out of hiding when you two are together,” came Howie's voice as their friend walked into the kitchen, pulling a microwavable meal out of the freezer.

“Howard!” Brian exclaimed, “I didn't even know you were home, young man! Thought you were out ragin' the club scene!”

“I'm older than you, you can't call me 'young man.' I was in my room all day, sleeping,” Howie said, popping his meal into the microwave and grabbing a beer to join them. “No one woke me.”

“Sleepy D,” Kevin said sweetly.

“Growing boys need their rest,” Brian recited.

“You two are so odd,” Howie said. He glanced at his watch. “It's 8:00 o'clock. How the hell did I sleep that long?”

 

“AJ's coming over today,” Howie said brightly, giving a good look at Kevin as he handed him a cup of coffee at the dining table late Monday morning.

“Shit. When?” Kevin asked, panicking slightly, but trying to not let it show. “I'm s'posed to meet Kristin at Disney today when she gets off her shift.”

“So take AJ with you,” Howie said. “I bet he'd be happy to go to Disney for a few hours, then the three of you could hang out.”

“Wait, so he called you? Or did you call him?”

“He called here, a few minutes ago, while you were in the bathroom. Was asking for you, but you were in the shower. So I invited him over. He'll be over in, like, an hour. When's Kris get off her shift?”

Kevin poured creamer into his coffee. “4:00. I guess I could take AJ with me. Kris won't mind.”

“You back together with her?”

“Nah, Kev's bedding AJ these days.” Brian had joined them now.

“You're kidding,” Howie exclaimed, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

“What, you didn't know that?” Brian asked, grabbing the cereal box when Howie was done with it.

“Wait, for real? Are you serious?”

Kevin groaned into his coffee.

“You mean you didn't hear them bumpin' and grindin' in our room in Germany that one night?”

“What? In our room? When we all shared?” Howie glanced back and forth between the cousins, wide-eyed.

“He's a heavy sleeper,” Kevin said, “Brian, can we not....”

“It was so gross,” Brian said, “I heard wet slappin' 'n cussin'. Dunno how you didn't hear it. I had to cover Nicky's ears-”

“Okay, that's good, Brian, I think,” Kevin interrupted, face bright red.

“Wow. What the hell?” Howie said. “Why didn't I know about this?”

“Figured you did, after that night,” Brian snickered.

“I mean, I guess that explains a whole lot. I just figured one of you guys would've told me, is all,” Howie said, morosely putting a spoonful of Lucky Charms into his mouth.

“Sorry, Howie,” Kevin said.

Howie just sagged his shoulders, seeming more put off than he probably intended.

 

An hour passed. Kevin couldn't stop pacing.

Two hours passed, and finally there was a knock on the door. Kevin ignored Brian's laughing when he nearly tripped in haste to answer it.

He flung the door open and AJ stood there. Kevin found himself thinking, not for the first time, that he so easily forgot how beautiful the younger man was. He was dressed in khakis and a wife beater, his sunglasses for once on top of his head rather than covering his eyes. He even had a bit of scruff dotting his chin. It was sexy as hell. And had he already tanned so quickly?

“Alex,” Kevin nearly whispered, and AJ smiled at him, somewhat apologetically.

“Sorry I'm late,” AJ said, walking in without touching Kevin, who ached to be in his proximity. “My mom would _not_ let me get out of my schooling no matter how much I begged. Fuckin' tutoring is so dumb. I should be done with this shit by now. But she wants me to get my GED by the end of this year.”

Kevin was once again reminded with how much younger AJ was, and it made him briefly uncomfortable. AJ was an adult, he quickly told himself. Six years wasn't that big of an age gap.

“Well, that's great, though!” Brian exclaimed, “I hope you do get it! Education is very important.”

“Kevin's taking you to Disney,” Howie said, when AJ didn't respond to Brian.

AJ looked over at Kevin. “Really?”

“Yeah. Uh, we were gonna meet up with Kristin after she got off work,” Kevin said.

“Oh.” AJ deflated slightly, and Kevin felt guilty.

“I mean, she and I already made plans, the other day, so I can't really cancel on her,” Kevin trailed off.

“I want to go,” AJ said, “It'll be cool to see Kristin again. I only met her like once.”

“Well, great, then. You ready to head out now?” Kevin asked.

“Sure!”

“Brian or Howie, you guys wanna come along? Or you got other plans?” Kevin asked his roommates.

“Nah, I think I'm gonna stay here,” Howie said, yawning, “maybe take an afternoon nap.”

“Y'know, maybe I will join y'all!” Brian decided. “I haven't been to Disney in so long! Let me find my good shoes. I'll meet y'all outside.”

Kevin relaxed slightly, grateful his cousin was coming along. He could be a useful buffer. Who knew how awkward things would get between him and his two... lovers. That was a weird thought.

He fit his UK hat onto his head, and guided AJ out the door, down the hall.

“So, Kristin, huh,” AJ said, his tone a bit too fake to be conversational, “Kristin.... You back together with her?”

“No, AJ,” Kevin answered, gently placing his hand on the small of AJ's back as they reached the stairwell. “I'm more interested in being with you.”

“Oh, great. Um. So, can we talk about that real quick?” AJ paused, turning Kevin into the wall by the stairs.

“Yeah, sure,” Kevin stammered, both parts equally surprised and suddenly nervous.

“Does – does your offer still stand about, y'know, being my boyfriend?”

Kevin blinked at him, not having expected this conversation at all.

“Well – yes.”

“Great, cause I kinda sorta decided that I wanna accept the offer and be your boyfriend. Is that – is that good? Are we good?”

Kevin felt conflicting emotions flood over him, which threw him for a loop. Kristin came to mind immediately, and she was so fresh on him after they'd just went out two days ago. And he was going to see her today. But AJ was going to be there, too. With AJ there, he could decide, couldn't he?

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. AJ was waiting for an answer, big brown eyes trying desperately to read Kevin. This was all Kevin had wanted from AJ, all he'd dreamed of. Yet....

“I – could I give you an answer later?”

AJ looked hurt and Kevin could've kicked himself, but before either of them had the chance to say anything, Brian walked into the stairwell.

“Hey guys! We goin' or what?” he said cheerfully, and began skipping down the stairs, voice echoing as he sang “Quit Playing Games With My Heart.”

Kevin was grateful for Brian's interruption, but as they followed his cousin down the stairs, Kevin's conscience got the best of him.

AJ was what he wanted. AJ was what he'd dreamed of for these past few months, not Kristin. And AJ had just offered to be his boyfriend. He was going to accept, for once, without over-thinking things. People always gave him shit on how much he over-analyzed every situation. He would be spontaneous this time, because some of his best decisions in life had been off the cuff. Hell, that was how he'd joined the Backstreet Boys – on a total whim.

“AJ,” Kevin grabbed his wrist before AJ could catch the door to the parking lot that Brian left swinging. “AJ, I'm a real idiot. This is my answer: I want to be your boyfriend. I'm your boyfriend.”


	9. The Magic Kingdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin, Brian, AJ, and Kristin spend the day together at the place where dreams come true. For AJ, the opposite of his dreams comes true.

“Mind if I snag a quick cig before we hit the park?” AJ asked, pulling a pack from his back pocket while Brian went ahead to the gates.

Kevin shrugged, swallowing the memory of the last time – the first time – AJ had smoked in front of him. He wondered if AJ was thinking about it. Thinking about Kevin shoving him.

AJ lit one up and took a puff.

“You want one?” AJ asked, blowing in the opposite direction of his friend.

“I don't smoke,” Kevin said stiffly, although he wondered if that had been a challenge rather than an offer.

“I know,” AJ said, shrugging as well, “I just thought....”

They didn't talk again until AJ smashed the cigarette under his shoe and they'd gotten through the park gates into the Magic Kingdom. Kristin left a ticket at the gate for them, which Kevin gave to AJ. Kevin used his year pass to get both himself and Brian in for a discount.

 

Kevin had wanted to walk around for a while first, but AJ and Brian immediately wanted to go on rides. Kevin strolled among nearby shops, familiarizing himself with his old stomping grounds again while the other two went on various attractions. His mind wandered as he walked, and he began to get nervous again, wondering what the hell he was going to tell Kristin. Would he tell her that he was seeing AJ now and couldn't be with her? When would be the right moment? God, he didn't want to hurt her. They'd had so many good times together, and he did care about her a lot.

In an effort to distract himself, he met up up with Brian and AJ again as they queued up for their next ride. This one was a two-seater, and Brian politely and knowingly let AJ and Kevin sit together while he sat with a stranger. Kevin hoped Brian didn't feel like a third wheel – that would hopefully change once they met up with Kristin. Brian always made the best out of any situation, anyway, so Kevin wasn't too worried.

After the ride attendant buckled them in, AJ slipped his fingers through Kevin's to hold his hand. Kevin looked over at him and melted slightly when AJ gave him a shy smile. He smiled back, squeezing AJ's hand. They didn't let go until the ride was over, and on each ride after that, they held hands.

 

“Dippin' Dots,” AJ said, approaching the vendor with Kevin close on his tail. Brian was nearby at a toy kiosk admiring plush Donald Ducks. “'The ice cream of the future!' Why isn't all ice cream like this by now? This company's been around for a few years, hasn't it? You'd think the knowledge to make ice cream this way woulda spread by now.”

Despite that, AJ bought himself a large bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough to share with Kevin. “Two spoons, please!”

They waited for Brian and ate their snack, finishing it quickly.

“Dippin' Dots was founded in Kentucky,” Kevin told him, “Did you know that?”

“I didn't,” AJ said, tossing the empty plastic bowl and spoons in the trash. Brian rejoined them, a brand new baseball cap adorning his head. The bill of the hat was Donald Duck's bill.

“Your hat has another hat on top of it,” Kevin told Brian, in case he didn't know.

“Sexy,” AJ told him. Brian grinned wide.

 

They enjoyed a few more attractions before it was time to meet up with Kristin. She'd told Kevin she would meet him at Space Mountain at four, so that's where they headed.

Kevin spotted the pretty blonde at a bench a few yards away from the ride's queue, sitting with another girl. He headed her direction, and felt AJ slip his hand into his, right as she looked their way. He pulled away slightly, quickly running his hand across AJ's back as though it had been an accident, before distancing himself just far enough so AJ couldn't do it again.

Kristin brightened as the three boys approached.

“Kevin! I didn't know you were bringing your friends!” she greeted. “I would've left a couple more tickets at the gate! Nice to see you guys again!”

She pulled each of them into a hug as the other girl, a short brunette, stood up.

“This is my friend Rachel,” Kristin introduced her. “Kevin, I think I've told you about her, haven't I? She's a dancer as well. She's usually in the parades. She's originally from Louisiana.”

“Nice to meet you,” Kevin said sweetly, shaking her hand. “Rachel, this is my friend AJ and my cousin Brian.”

“Hello!” Brian said in his best Donald Duck impersonation, and Rachel laughed.

“Rachel was going to head home from work after I met up with you – but why don't you join us? The more, the merrier!” Kristin invited.

“Oh, I don't know,” Rachel said shyly.

“Come on – please?” Kristin said, clasping her hands under her chin in a pleading gesture.

“Please!” Brian echoed, still in his Donald Duck voice.

“I suppose I could, for an hour or so,” Rachel decided.

 

“So Kris tells me y'all are in a singing group,” Rachel was saying to Brian as the group moseyed along, no particular direction in mind. Brian had finally cut his Donald Duck voice in favor of his normal one, and responded cheerfully.

“Yes, miss!” he said, “We're a vocal harmony group. We just got back from a tour in Germany this past week.”

Kevin tuned Brian out when Kristin spoke to him.

“You guys eat anything yet? I'm starving.”

“I could go for some food,” Kevin said.

“I'm not hungry,” AJ said. Kevin ignored him.

“Why don't we stop at this restaurant over here?” he asked Kristin, “Or would you rather just grab something from a vendor?”

“Vendor,” AJ said.

“That restaurant's actually pretty good,” Kristin said, not having heard AJ, “They just opened it about a month ago. And I could certainly use a full meal after today!”

“Let's go then!”

 

At the table, AJ hurriedly sat by Kevin, forcing Kristin to take the chair at the end, farthest from Kevin. If she noticed, she didn't seem bothered in the least. Brian and Rachel sat beside each other opposite Kevin and AJ. While they all ate, Brian and Rachel led most of the conversation. Rachel knew a lot about marching bands. She'd been a majorette for seven years. Brian was intrigued.

“We had a good marching band,” Kevin put in, swallowing a bite of a roll, “at my high school. I played football though, so I couldn't join.”

“I didn't graduate high school,” AJ said. “I also didn't play sports.”

Kristin laughed. Kevin swore he saw AJ roll his eyes. Rachel went on, saying her band had done competitions, rather than high school football halftime shows. It was quite a big deal.

AJ placed his hand on Kevin's thigh. Kevin didn't mind having it there, as long as it didn't venture any farther up, not while they were in public. Not while they were in front of Kristin. Not yet.

 

As soon as they were finished with dinner, Kristin insisted that she introduce Kevin to a few of the new dancers.

“Does Greg still work here?” Kevin asked, remembering the attractive dancer from years ago that he'd had a brief rendezvous in the bathroom with... his first sexual encounter with another man.

“No,” Kristin said casually, “he's actually a stripper now. At a gay club downtown.”

“Oh.”

“I'm gonna go say goodbye to Rachel,” Brian announced, pausing as they came to one of the performer dressing rooms. “She has to go home.” He disappeared with his new friend while Kristin smiled.

“I thought the two of them would hit it off,” she said.

Security let AJ and Kevin in with the blonde dancer.

“It's okay,” she told one of the park officers, “they're with me – my boyfriend and his friend.”

Kevin felt AJ flinch next to him, and glanced over, giving him an apologetic look. When he was sure Kristin wasn't looking, he reached out and squeezed AJ's arm.

Kristin took the boys around the backstage area. Kevin only recognized a few faces from when he'd worked at Disney a few years ago, and greeted them all warmly. Every time Kristin introduced Kevin to someone, she called him her “boyfriend,” and AJ shriveled further.

Finally, they re-emerged into the park and found Brian, who sidled up to them as they walked.

“I got Rachel's number,” he excitedly told Kevin, and Kevin pounded him on the back.

“Get it, boy!” Kevin exclaimed, and Kristin looked over and laughed. AJ trailed behind the three of them a few paces.

“It's cause you've got Donald Duck's charm,” Kristin said, patting Brian on the bill of his hat. “Rachel couldn't resist. I knew you two would like each other.”

Kevin glanced behind him to see AJ sulking along. He sighed inwardly, annoyed. If AJ wanted to be a bad sport about Kristin right now, he could. Kevin did feel bad, but he would talk things out with him later. And hopefully, he would get a chance to talk things out with Kristin before the end of the evening.

That chance came before Kevin was prepared.

“Hey, Aje,” Brian said, falling back and bumping his shoulder into his younger friend. “Why don't we hit up the Flying Elephant ride! We'll give Kris and Kev some time together, since, you know, we sorta interrupted their day together by comin' along.”

“I don't know,” AJ said, “I think maybe we should stick together.”

“Nonsense!” Brian exclaimed, “Hey, Kev, can we meet you guys back at this location in, like, an hour?”

“Uh – yeah,” Kevin said, catching the wink Brian sent his way.

“I'll take care of him,” his cousin mouthed, jabbing his thumb at AJ. He pulled the younger man off with him toward the ride. AJ glanced back at Kevin twice, looking upset.

Kevin felt Kristin playfully push up against him.

“So now we're alone,” she said, smiling secretively. Kevin smiled back. “Were you all planning on staying for the parade?”

“I mean – I'd like to. I'll see what the other guys say,” Kevin said. Kristin placed her arm at Kevin's waist, and they walked along for a while.

“I really did miss you, you know,” Kristin said, dropping her hand to Kevin's, and lacing her fingers with his. Some of the lights on the rides were being turned on as the sun dipped under the horizon.

“I missed you, too,” Kevin told her, swallowing hard. _Tell her. Tell her right now. Break up with her. At least let go of her hand._

Kevin never spoke up, not while they were in the queue for “It's A Small World,” not while they shared a bag of cotton candy, and not while they perused the merchandise shops. He just listened to Kristin talk. And he didn't let go of her hand.

“What's up with you?” she asked after a while, her elbow bumping Kevin's as they walked back to the spot they were meant to meet AJ and Brian. “You've been pretty quiet today.”

_ Now would be the perfect time _ .

“Sorry. I, um, didn't get much sleep last night,” Kevin lied. “A bit tired.”

“Aw, babe,” Kristin said, pulling him in for a hug. Kevin stiffened slightly but quickly hugged her back, not wanting her to question him further. “If you're tired, you boys should just head home now. Hm?”

“The parade starts in less than an hour,” Kevin said, checking his watch as Kristin stepped back. “Might as well stay.”

Kevin withered in defeat when he made out AJ's face in the crowd, then Brian's. He had totally let down AJ, even though Brian had given him the chance to talk alone to Kristin. He was currently dating two people, and he didn't even have the heart to break up with one of them. He was a spineless jerk.

He plopped down on a free bench, Kristin tight on his right and her hand on his thigh. AJ folded his arms and stood, looking very unhappy despite half his face being hidden by his shades. Brian took advantage of the empty seat on Kevin's left and sat. At some point he'd bought a bag of salt water taffy. He offered some to the group.

“Y'all wanna find a good spot to sit for the parade?” Kevin asked. He looked over at Kristin. “This a good spot?”

She shrugged. “Mm-hmm. Any better spots would be taken by now, anyway.”

“That's true. AJ, you wanna sit?” Kevin asked. “I'll stand.”

AJ shook his head and studied his nails. Brian chatted enthusiastically for a while, telling Kevin what he and AJ did while on their own. God bless him for filling the silence. Kevin chewed long on a piece of blueberry taffy, savoring the taste on his tongue. Now the sky was pitch dark. Adults with their children walked by, the kids twirling around glow sticks and flashing toys, though the crowd wasn't nearly as thick as it would be on a weekend or during the summer. A pigeon plucked at a fry on the ground near Kevin's ankle, and then they heard the music start up.

The parade was just as beautiful as Kevin remembered it, though he had usually been in the parades, rather than watching them. He gazed in wonder at the colorful lights and costumes, his ears taken away by all the sounds. There were singers and dancers and characters and marching bands. 

“Wonder if that marching band is as good as Rachel's,” Brian said to Kevin, at each band that passed by. “Bet not.”

The parade lasted just long enough that Kevin found himself getting sleepy. The last few floats and performers passed them, and then the fireworks started.

“Kevin, baby,” he heard Kristin say in his ear. He tore his eyes from the bursting lights in the sky to see her big brown eyes. She grinned at him, guided his cheek with her hand, and kissed him, long and sweet. “I love you,” she said, and kissed him again.

Kevin licked his lips when they parted. Cotton candy. He smiled, slightly. And then glanced over at AJ, afraid he'd seen. But he wasn't where he'd just been standing. Suddenly worried, Kevin looked around, trying to find the scrawny guy with the white tank top and sunglasses. He couldn't see him in the mass of people getting ready to leave the park.

“Brian? Where'd AJ go?” Kevin asked his cousin, beginning to panic.

Brian blinked several times. “What?” He looked to where AJ had been standing. “When-?”

“Hey, I think I see him,” Kristin said, pointing. Kevin stood and headed in that direction, spotting AJ several yards away and gaining distance quickly. Was he leaving?

“AJ!” Kevin called. “AJ, wait up!” He worked into a jog, sliding between people in order to catch up with his boyfriend. When he did, he grabbed AJ's wrist and yanked him backwards into his chest. “AJ, where the hell are you going?”

“Back to the car,” AJ said through gritted teeth, yanking his hand out of Kevin's. “Sorry your slow asses can't keep up.”

“AJ, slow down. Please. What's wrong?”

“What's wrong?” AJ seethed as families moseyed past them to the park gates. “You've been my boyfriend for  _ one day _ , and you're kissing her!”

“I'm sorry – I – I haven't told her yet, I...,” Kevin tried, grabbing AJ's wrist again in attempt to get his full attention.

“Hey,” Brian said loudly, clapping Kevin on the back as he and Kristin caught up. “We ready to go?”

“Yeah – yeah, we're ready,” Kevin said. “Kris, want us to walk with you to your car?”

“No, that's alright. I'm on the other side of the park. Kevin, I'll call you sometime this week and we can make plans. Before you leave for Europe again.”

“Yeah, sure, baby,” Kevin said. His face reddened as he realized how easily 'baby' had fallen off his tongue. He hoped AJ hadn't heard. Before he could check or think too much about that, Kristin leaned up and pulled his face down to hers to give him a kiss.

“Night, baby,” she said, rolling back on her heels, smiling and hugging him. She let go, turned away, and headed in the opposite direction.

Kevin watched her go for a moment before turning back around and seeing AJ had made it halfway to the gates.

“Jesus,” he hissed, throwing his hands in the air. Brian gave him a sympathetic look.

“What happened, man?” his cousin asked. “I thought you were gonna break up with her.”

“God, I don't know, Brian. I don't know how it ended up like this. I didn't even know we were back together!”

“All I can say is: Good luck. Kris is a great girl. But AJ's a good guy. Hey, we better go catch up with him before he gets hit by a parked car or somethin'.”

 

Back at the truck, AJ had lit up a cigarette.

“Smoking's bad for your lungs,” Brian told him as he and Kevin made it to the vehicle.

“You're cute,” AJ sneered. Brian blinked at him, confused.

Kevin unlocked the truck.

“No, really. Brian, you're cute. You wanna make out?”

“Heh – what?” Brian giggled, backing away uneasily. Kevin stiffened.

“You wanna kiss, Littrell, so I can kiss someone else in front of my boyfriend?” AJ said, advancing on Brian. Brian yelped, and ran around the truck to hide behind Kevin. “Or hey, wanna be my boyfriend, too? I mean, I already got one, but who cares, I'll just have two, and maybe get a girlfriend, too, and we can all f-”

“AJ, let's wait until we get back home to do this, okay?” Kevin said evenly.

AJ didn't respond.

“Please?”

“Whatever,” the younger one spat, yanking open the door and sliding inside the truck. The other two piled in and they began the silent drive back to the apartment.


	10. 24 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day that Kevin and AJ are a 'real' couple.

 

“Why are we here?” AJ said as they pulled into the lot. “Why didn't you just drop me off at home?”

“Cause,” Kevin said, shutting off the truck and climbing out. Brian followed, and headed straight for the apartment, probably to warn Howie of what was to come. “We need to have a nice, long talk.”

“Oh, God. I'll just drive myself home,” AJ said. He lurched forward and made a grab for Kevin's keys, but Kevin was too quick for him, grabbing him and holding him flush against his body while dangling the keys in the air out of AJ's reach.

“You're fuckin' cute,” Kevin joked, “' _ Wanna make out? _ ' Really? And Brian? You ass.”

AJ wiggled out of his grip and started towards the street.

“Where you goin', Aje?” Kevin asked. He slowly shook his head at AJ's retreating figure, thinking he should've waited a few more years for this. Maybe AJ would've been more mature by then.

“Home,” AJ called over his shoulder.

“Fuck you, AJ, that's a 15 mile walk.”

“Fuck you, Kevin, I don't care!”

“Fuck  _ you _ , AJ, you can't walk the freeway unless you wanna get arrested, so it's actually a 20 mile walk!”

AJ threw his hands up and yelled in frustration as he reached the sidewalk.

“ _ Fuck  _ you, Kevin! Just take me home!” He turned around, kicked the ground, and folded his arms over his chest.

“Come here first,” Kevin said, beckoning him over. “Come on, AJ, please. Let's talk.”

“I'm breaking up with you.”

“No, you're not. We've been dating like six hours. Contract says at least 24 before you can consider backing out of the deal.”

AJ didn't budge. Kevin did.

He met AJ at the sidewalk in a few easy strides and held open his arms.

“C'mere,” he said. “I'm sorry. AJ, let's talk, just please c'mere.”

“You're a fucking asshole,” AJ muttered, keeping his arms folded. Kevin wrapped him into a hug. He smiled slightly when he felt AJ lean into him.

“I know,” Kevin said, “I'm sorry. I'm a huge asshole.”

“Biggest asshole in the world.”

“Let's go inside.”

 

“Okay,” Kevin said, once they'd shut the door behind them. The main room was empty. Howie and Brian were locked away in their rooms. “Go ahead now and chew me out. I deserve it. Just mind the neighbors and let's try n' not get too loud.”

AJ took a breath.

“Why didn't you tell her you two aren't dating anymore? That you're _my_ boyfriend?” he stated.

“I would have,” Kevin replied, “if you had let me be alone with Kris at all, the entire day. You were, like, glued to us, man!”

“I left you alone for a whole hour! Remember? Brian made me go on a bunch of rides with him so the two of you could be together, for God knows why!” AJ told him, voice rising. “What the hell did you guys do for that hour? Make a fuckin' baby? You guys find a bathroom to fuck in?”

“AJ!” Kevin snapped, “Why are you acting this way?”

“Because she's your ex!” AJ shouted. “And she doesn't even realize that! I thought you guys had broken up months ago-”

“We _did,_ ” Kevin interjected.

“She still thinks you're her boyfriend! She _kissed_ you!”

“That's _because_ she doesn't know, AJ! That's just how our relationship works! We break up, we get back together! I didn't tell her about you yet!”

“Well, why the fuck not?”

“I don't know – I fucked up, okay? I didn't want to hurt her. We were all havin' a good time. You don't break up with somebody at Disney World, AJ!”

“Then break up with her now, while she's at home!” AJ said firmly. “Call her right now and tell her. _Kevin_.”

“I can't do that,” Kevin frowned.

“Why not?” AJ pressed, heading over to the phone on the wall. “Just call her!”

“I need to tell her this face-to-face,” Kevin said, gently stopping AJ as he reached to pick the phone up. “She at least deserves that! I will tell her the next time I see her, okay?”

“And when's that gonna be?” AJ said, turning around and facing him. He'd discarded his sunglasses back in the truck. Kevin was stricken by the fire in those eyes. AJ was fighting for him now, when Kevin had been the one fighting for him the past month. He hadn't realized how the tables had turned so quickly.

“I – I dunno. She said she would call me to hang out this week. I'll tell her then. Is that okay? I'll break up with her then. For good.”

“Really?” AJ asked, a bit breathlessly.

“Yes, really,” Kevin assured him, and pulled him into a tight hug. He relaxed as he felt AJ's arms come around his waist. “Okay?”

“Okay,” AJ said softly, into Kevin's shoulder.

“Okay. Want me to take you home now?”

“Actually, could I maybe stay the night instead?”

“Uh – yeah,” Kevin said, surprised. “Yeah, you can. Just, um, call your mom, I guess.”

“Okay.” Kevin released AJ, and the younger man picked up the phone.

“I'm gonna grab a shower real quick. If you're hungry, you know you can help yourself to anything like always.”

Kevin paused, second guessing himself briefly, before leaning in and pressing a kiss to AJ's cheek. He pulled away, and the two of them stared at each other for a few seconds before Kevin turned and headed for the bathroom.

 

Kevin was mostly done with his shower when he noticed a shadow walk into the bathroom. He peeked around the curtain to see AJ sitting down on the toilet lid.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Howdy,” AJ said.

“What'd your mom say?”

“She was glad she didn't hafta come all this way to pick me up,” AJ said.

“Oh, cool. Um, did you want something?”

“Nah,” the younger man said, adjusting his pants slightly. “Howie's snoring's always a bit disconcerting to hear through the walls, so I figured I'd come in here and wait for you. And maybe shower when you were done.”

“Right, okay.”

Kevin turned off the water when he finished rinsing out his hair, and grabbed his towel, drying himself off slightly before stepping out of the tub. He wrapped the towel around his waist and watched AJ watching him.

“You're wearing my favorite outfit,” AJ told him.

“Oh, am I? What outfit is that?” Kevin asked, heading to the sink to brush his teeth.

“Your birthday suit,” AJ said in a low voice, standing and moving behind Kevin. He wrapped his arms around Kevin's stomach and leaned up, kissing Kevin's back and licking the water droplets off of his skin.

“Mm, you taste good,” AJ murmured, his voice vibrating sweetly in Kevin's bones.

Kevin finished brushing his teeth and wiped his mouth with his hand before trying to turn around. AJ didn't let him. He held him tightly, pressing him against the sink.

“I like you so much,” AJ said. “God, I really love this. You're my boyfriend, Kevin.”

“Yes, I am,” Kevin said, “Your boyfriend, who would be very unhappy if he popped a boner up against this sink. C'mon, baby, move. Go take your shower.”

“Alright, fine,” AJ said, stepping back. Kevin heard the clunk of AJ's belt hitting the tile floor and turned, leaning against the sink to observe as AJ undressed.

“Like what you see, Kev?” AJ grunted, pulling off his shirt while he stepped out of his khakis. He held up his half hard dick, squeezed it tightly, and grinned lewdly up at the taller man.

Kevin didn't respond, just continued to watch. AJ rolled his eyes at him and stepped into the shower, drawing the curtain closed. When he heard the shower start, Kevin stooped over to pick up AJ's clothes, and left the bathroom.

As he folded AJ's things and placed them on the dresser in his room, AJ's half-empty pack of cigarettes slid out of AJ's pants pocket and onto his hand. Kevin tossed it in the waste bin before digging through the drawers for a soft t-shirt, underwear, and pair of worn athletic shorts that AJ could wear to bed. He deposited those on the toilet seat back in the bathroom, and then returned to his room where he crawled into bed, leaving the light on for AJ.

AJ joined him about ten minutes later, as Kevin was drifting off. He turned off the light and tiptoed over to the bed.

“I'm too skinny. These shorts are practically fallin' off me, even though I got the drawstring pulled all the way,” AJ said as he slipped under the covers.

“I wouldn't mind,” Kevin mumbled, “if they fell off.”

“Naughty boy,” AJ said. He pushed against Kevin, and they kissed in the dark. Their limbs automatically tangled together, and AJ humped Kevin's thigh until they both grew too exhausted to keep moving.

“Today wore me out,” AJ yawned as they came up for air.

“I think we should wear each other out tomorrow,” Kevin suggested.

“I like the way you think.” AJ cuddled up to Kevin as closely as he possibly could. Kevin laughed softly.

“'Night, AJ.”

“'Night, baby.”

Kevin fell asleep smiling, all his senses focused solely on AJ.

 

“...'the fuck are my cigarettes?”

Kevin stirred groggily, still feeling AJ's warmth in the empty space next to him.

“There they are,” Kevin heard AJ mutter. He cracked his eyes open slightly to see AJ stooping over the small trash can in his room. “Asshole.”

Kevin rolled over to face the wall, away from the sunlight coming through the window, and fell back asleep.

 

Around noon, Kevin woke up again, rolled back over, and nearly squashed AJ, who had rejoined him in bed. He smelled like smoke. Kevin wrinkled his nose. He hoped AJ kicked that habit sooner than later.

AJ opened his eyes and gazed tiredly at Kevin.

“You up finally?”

“Yeah,” Kevin said.

“God, you sleep late.”

“Want me to take you home now?” Kevin asked, noticing AJ had redressed in his own clothes.

“I figured you'd have breakfast first.”

“You eat already?”

“I ate the rest of Howie's box of cereal. He was kinda mad,” AJ told him.

“Oh. Well, let's get up.”

AJ slipped out of bed and Kevin followed him, slowly.

 

In the kitchen, Kevin put some bread in the toaster and pulled butter out of the fridge. He poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot that Howie had probably made, and leaned against the counter, drinking it. AJ watched him, smiling.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothin'.”

“You can go watch TV or somethin', 'stead of staring at me,” Kevin suggested.

“I prefer you.”

Kevin's toast popped, and he spread butter on it and sat down at the table. AJ still stood, watching him.

Howie walked in, pulling out ingredients to make a sandwich.

“As usual, Kevin's having breakfast while I'm having lunch,” he stated, finding a plate in the cabinet. Kevin looked over at him. “Your boyfriend owes me a box of Lucky Charms,” he added.

“I told him we were official,” AJ grinned.

“Oh,” Kevin said.

“Now you get to own up for everything AJ does,” Howie said brightly. He sat down next to Kevin and began to eat. “What are you guys doing today?”

“Takin' AJ home after breakfast – lunch.”

“He wants to get rid of me.”

“You sure AJ doesn't want to join me and Nicky at the mall today?” Howie asked. “Mrs. Carter is shoving him off on me to get him some new clothes. He's a growing boy.”

Brian walked out of the bathroom, toweling off his damp hair.

“She wouldn't trust Brian to do it,” Howie went on, at the other man's presence. “He'd give in and let Nicky buy whatever stupid outfit he wanted.”

“Be quiet,” Brian said good-naturedly. “I can't go cause I got a date with Rachel. We're getting lunch in a bit.”

“That was fast,” Kevin remarked.

“I called her this mornin',” Brian said. “Told her I would.”

“She's hot,” AJ said. “I'd talk about marching band all day with her. And of course, we'd do other things.”

“Hey,” Kevin frowned.

“What? I'll tie down to you alone when you've tied down to me alone,” AJ said, a bit harshly.

“Touche,” Kevin responded, trying to keep the mood light.

“I think I'll go to the mall with you and Nickolas,” AJ said, now addressing Howie. “His mom dropping him off?”

As if on cue, a rapping sounded on the door. Brian, who was closest to it, opened it and let in the 17-year-old.

“Howdy-do, boy,” Brian greeted.

“Hi, guys,” Nick said, wandering in and joining Howie and Kevin at the table. He snagged one of Kevin's pieces of toast and stuffed half of it in his mouth.

“Doesn't your mom feed you?” Kevin asked.

“No.”

“Don't talk with your mouth full,” Howie told him.

“Kevin asked me a question,” Nick mumbled through the toast.

“And don't take other people's food,” Brian reprimanded, taking the other half of the toast Nick had bitten out of from the blonde's hands and setting it back down on Kevin's plate. Kevin just stared at it. After about a minute, AJ took it off Kevin's plate and ate it.

“You guys ready to go, then?” Howie asked. “I just have to brush my teeth real quick. Kev, you wanna come?”

“Nah, I don't wanna make y'all wait up for me. I gotta take a shower still.”

“We can wait,” AJ said quickly.

“It's okay,” Kevin waved him off. “Have fun.”

 

Once the three of them went to the mall, that left Brian and Kevin alone for a while. They sat on the couch together, and Kevin watched as Brian played Nintendo 64.

“So AJ was callin' you his boyfriend – last night,” Brian stated, “when we were leavin' Disney. That mean y'all are a couple for real now?”

Kevin nodded. “Yeah.”

“That musta been why he was so mad at you n' Kris kissin'. Poor AJ. So I guess that means you're gonna break up with Kristin? When's that gonna happen?”

“Soon, I guess,” Kevin sighed. “She said she was gon' call me to go out this week, so I guess I'll do it then.”

“That's so weird, cuz. It's like, you and Kristin are gonna be officially done. You guys have been seein' each other for a few years now, right?”

“Can – can we not talk about Kristin?” Kevin said.

“Oh, right. Sorry. I guess – you and AJ's gonna take getting used to. It's kind of weird – I don't mean that in a mean way or anything, it's just....”

“I know,” Kevin understood.

“It's weird, is all. Kinda gross. I'm not, like, against two dudes bein' together, but I dunno how you do it. I guess – I guess AJ's alright lookin', though.”

“I think AJ's _very_ 'alright lookin','” Kevin said.

“Well, you better think that – he's your boyfriend after all.” Brian shot him a cheesy grin, then looked back at the TV. “It's odd, though. Never would've thought my cousin Kev was a homosexual.”

“Bi,” Kevin corrected.

“Yeah, that's what I meant. Aunt Ann know yet?”

“Nah. I always figured she didn't need to know, unless I started seriously dating a boy.”

“Well, that's AJ, isn't it?” Brian pointed out.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

Kevin picked up a piece of salt water taffy Brian had left on the coffee table, unwrapped it, and popped it in his mouth. Pink lemonade.

Brian purposely crashed his car in the video game before standing up and turning off the console.

“I better go n' meet Rachel. Don't wanna be late. Take care, Kev – don't stress over this thing too much now, alright?”

“Yeah.”

“You know how you get.”

Brian patted him on the shoulder and left.


	11. Break Up With Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AJ won't allow himself to be a side-dish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to put up this chapter! I'm slaving hard over this story. Hope you all enjoy.

“My mom said I could stay here again,” AJ said, letting himself into Kevin's room around 10 o'clock that night and locking the door behind him.

“Y'all were gone long,” Kevin blinked, sitting up in his bed and placing the book he'd been reading on his nightstand. AJ pulled off his shirt, and Kevin noticed it was a different one than the one he'd been wearing earlier. He must've stopped off at home to get a change of clothes. AJ tossed that, along with a few shopping bags, onto the floor by Kevin's dresser, and then pulled down his slacks, kicking them to the side.

“We had dinner after the mall, and caught a movie, too. Scoot over, Kev,” AJ said, climbing into the bed, “make room for me.”

Kevin did, but instead of taking up his own space, AJ invaded Kevin's, and straddled him at the waist.

“Damn,” Kevin stated, placing his hands at AJ's thin hips. His skin was hot. The older boy remembered the last time they were in this position – in Germany, not alone in the hotel room. AJ grinned and leaned down to kiss him, thrusting his hips roughly into Kevin's. That had Kevin hard almost instantly. He remembered how good it had felt to be inside of AJ, and he lost control briefly, bucking up.

“You want me?” AJ breathed, trailing wet lips along Kevin's jaw.

“Oh, God, yes,” Kevin told him, hands groping AJ, wanting to feel all of him at once.

“Remember, when we had sex? When you fucked my ass?” AJ gave a short, sexy laugh.

“You felt so good,” Kevin said, working their hips together and tilting back his head.

“You wanna do that again?” AJ asked.

“Yes!” Kevin practically shouted.

“Well, once you break up with Kristin, we can,” AJ snickered, and then rolled off Kevin's body.

“What? AJ....”

“Hm,” AJ said, and Kevin watched with wide eyes as AJ shoved his hand down his boxers and started jacking off.

“Kristin and I aren't even, like, officially back together,” Kevin tried, staring down at AJ's hand.

“Really,” AJ moaned slightly, “cause...cause she seemed to think so.”

“I'm going to talk to her about it, I swear,” Kevin said, “and you won't have to worry about it anymore. Okay? I only want you.”

“Mmhmm,” AJ responded.

Kevin reached out to touch the cock he was so mesmerized by, placing his hand over AJ's to help him.

AJ swatted him away.

“Sorry, you gotta break up with her first.”

Kevin grabbed AJ's thigh and pulled on it, splitting AJ's legs just enough that he could put his hand in between....

“Kevin!” AJ shouted, twisting his body and throwing Kevin's hand off him again. “No!”

“Goddamnit, AJ, come on, this is so unfair,” Kevin whined. He tried again, rolling halfway onto AJ's body and trying to touch the younger man's cock once more. AJ struggled under him, and Kevin chuckled lightly. “C'mon, just lemme....”

AJ forced away from him and stood up quickly, glaring down at Kevin on the bed.

“The fuck, Kevin? I said no. You can't have me 'til you tell your stupid ex-girlfriend to fuck off!”

Kevin sat up, annoyed. “Kris and I _are_ friends, you know,” he said. “Just because I'm going to break up with her doesn't mean she's a bad person or that I'll stop hanging out with her for your sake. So don't talk that way about her.”

“I'll talk about her whatever way I want,” AJ snapped, but he shrank away, looking much like a wounded animal.

“I don't appreciate that, AJ,” Kevin said, running a hand through his hair.

“Well, you know what? I don't appreciate you making me feel second best to Kristin when I'm supposed to be your boyfriend!” AJ said, voice breaking slightly. “You probably love her way more than me, anyway! Why did you bother with me when you knew you were gonna go back to her eventually?”

Kevin stood and tried to place his hands on AJ's shoulders, but the younger man backed away farther, running into Kevin's dresser.

“AJ, I care about you so much. We wouldn't be here like this right now if I preferred Kris over you. Okay? I love you.” Kevin waited, a bit nervous, as that came off his tongue. He felt he'd needed to say it, to make AJ less insecure. He did love AJ, too. He was just afraid to scare AJ away, like the last time, when he had been too overbearing, when he'd wanted to move too fast.

“Really?” AJ asked, looking up at him.

“Yes.” Kevin stepped forward and held out his arms. AJ looked away, but leaned into him, and Kevin held him tightly. “Are we okay, AJ? I swear, I will break up with Kris tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise,” Kevin said. AJ's arms came around him, and held him tightly. “Remember how much fun we had in Kentucky?” he murmured soothingly.

“Uh-huh,” AJ said into his shoulder.

“Let's keep that. I don't want to argue with you. I just want you to be happy.”

“'kay....”

“I'll do whatever I can to keep you happy.”

AJ looked up, and Kevin tilted his head down to kiss him sweetly.

“You ready for bed, just about?”

“I think I'm gonna sleep on the couch in the living room,” AJ said quietly. “Sorry....”

That hit Kevin like a punch to the gut, but he nodded, trying not to appear too hurt.

“It's okay. I understand.”

“Good night,” AJ said, standing on his toes to give Kevin a brief kiss.

Kevin held him tightly, and eventually let go after he felt AJ go limp in his arms. He handed AJ a spare pillow and blanket, watched as AJ got dressed and left, and curled up into bed, alone.

 

The next morning, Kevin called her.

“Hello?”

“Kris, hey-”

“Oh, hello, Kevin! I was just going to call you! Guess what?”

Kevin shut his eyes and fell back into the pillow, cordless phone pressed to his ear.

“What?” he asked.

“I just auditioned to dance with this group that's going to be touring the U.S. - and I got in! Isn't that great? It was really last minute though, that's probably why I got it, rather than, you know, sheer talent.” She giggled sweetly.

“They were blown away, I'm sure,” Kevin told her honestly. “When do you leave?”

“In a week. I'm actually going to be really busy, so it looks like we won't get to see each other at all. I'm sorry, honey, I was really looking forward to it. Especially since you're going back to Europe so soon....”

“That's actually what I wanted to talk about. Um. We can't meet up anytime today, or....”

“Baby, I wish we could. I gotta work and start teaching myself all these parts. Between that, I'm just not going to have time.”

“Oh. I was sort of hoping we could talk in person about this.”

“Talk about what?” she asked.

“I...,” Kevin paused, ran his fingers through his hair. It was now or never. He began to sweat as he tried to form the words.

“Kevin?” she asked worriedly when he hadn't spoken. “Something wrong?”

Kevin swallowed hard. “No. Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to see you, is all. I just miss you.”

He could almost feel her smile on the other end of the line. “I miss you, too, baby, so much.”

 

By the time Kevin had showered that morning, he'd formed his decision, and he approached AJ quietly as the younger one sat up on the couch watching television, nibbling on a Pop Tart. He wrapped his arms around AJ's shoulders as he was mid-bite and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Mornin',” he greeted, shoving his conversation with Kristin to the back of his mind.

“Hey,” AJ said, reaching his arm over Kevin's to continue eating his breakfast. AJ's smoky scent flooded Kevin's senses, and Kevin realized he must've finished a cigarette outside on the balcony a few minutes ago. He ignored that; as long as AJ didn't smoke indoors, he couldn't be angry at him. He figured AJ needed some sort of calming device after their argument last night and what Kevin had put him through at Disney. Eventually, he'd talk to AJ about stopping smoking again, but for now he'd let it go. Still, the urge to say something was there.

Instead, he nuzzled AJ's neck and playfully bit at the skin.

“Kev,” AJ said stiffly, “Remember what we talked about last night. You can't....”

“I know,” Kevin said. He nibbled up to AJ's ear, and began sucking on the lobe. AJ leaned forward, and Kevin moved with him, as the younger man set down his Pop Tart on the coffee table.

“Kevin,” AJ repeated, sitting back, and Kevin slid one hand down the front of AJ's t-shirt, deliberately going straight down his stomach towards his waist. “Kevin!” AJ said more forcefully, and tried to shake him off.

“I know what we talked about last night, and that's why I'm allowed to do this now,” Kevin said, wondering if AJ would get his hint without him having to outright lie to him.

“What?” AJ asked.

“I just made a phone call about thirty minutes ago,” Kevin whispered into AJ's ear. AJ was quiet for a moment, shocked, hopefully.

“And?” he said.

“And it's all good. It's just you and me now,” Kevin said, and that wasn't a total lie at least. It _was_ just he and AJ – at least for a few good months – at least until he ran into Kris again.

“Was Kris – did she take it...?” AJ stammered, trying to turn around and look at Kevin, but Kevin pressed their cheeks together so he couldn't; he wasn't sure he could look AJ in the eye right now, anyway.

“She'll be okay,” Kevin said, and then added, “She took it better than I thought.”

“Oh – Kev,” AJ gasped, and he wriggled out of Kevin's embrace to turn around on the couch and grab him. He yanked him down for a passionate kiss, and Kevin lurched forward, almost tumbling over the back of the couch. He had just placed his hands on AJ's shoulders to steady himself when a voice sounded, alerting him that Howie had entered the room.

“Hey, guys – uh, AJ,” he said, coughing. He jingled some car keys, and AJ and Kevin broke apart. “You ready for me to take you home now?”

“Yeah,” AJ said, grinning widely at Kevin.

“I can take you home,” Kevin said. He glanced at Howie. “I can take him home.”

“Okay. Sure, whatever you guys want,” Howie said with a shrug.

 

Kevin pulled up to the driveway of AJ's house, but AJ didn't immediately get out of the car.

“I was thinkin',” AJ said, unfastening his seatbelt, “that I could come out to my mom, with you here.”

Kevin frowned – he wasn't quite sure he was ready for that.

“Today? I'm not so sure....”

AJ visibly faltered. “I mean – I guess not.... But soon, right?”

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed, absently staring at AJ's shoulder, “Soon.”

“Maybe we can do it around the same time when you tell your mom?” AJ suggested. “Maybe before we go out on tour again?”

That was only in a few weeks.

“Maybe,” Kevin said. He wasn't sure if coming out to his mom with AJ by his side was the best idea – sure, she liked AJ alright, but she hadn't seemed fond of Kevin dating him back when she'd “caught” the two of them sleeping in Kevin's bed. Maybe he should slowly introduce the idea of his bisexuality before telling her, and at the same time allow her to warm up to AJ some.

“Alright – well, bye,” AJ was saying, and he reached over, holding Kevin's cheek still as he leaned in to kiss him. Out of the corner of his eye, Kevin saw Mrs. McLean coming out of the house and ducked away right before his and AJ's lips could meet.

“Your mom,” Kevin explained hastily when AJ looked confused.

“Oh. Okay.” AJ was only put off for a second before he turned his attempt to kiss into a friendly hug. With a hidden lick to Kevin's cheek and quick bite to his ear before they broke away.

AJ got out of the car just as Denise approached Kevin's truck and leaned against the driver's side door.

“Thanks for taking AJ home,” she greeted happily.

“Yeah, sure,” Kevin said, slightly flustered from almost being seen. “Any time.”

“He really looks up to you, you know,” she added with a smile and twinkle in her eyes. She patted Kevin's forearm, which was resting on the door. “He seems to enjoy staying over at your place with you and the guys.”

“Ma!” AJ groaned as he met her on the other side of the car, “Please!”

“Sorry, didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your friend,” Denise said, chuckling. She glanced back at Kevin, “Alright. We'll let you take off, now. I'm sure we'll see you again soon! Especially before you boys take off for Europe again.”

“Yeah,” Kevin said, smiling, and glancing one last time at AJ, who had been staring at him the whole time. “See y'all soon! Bye, Aje.”

As he pulled out of the driveway, Denise playfully called out after him:

“AJ wears that hat you picked out for him all the time, you know! He loves it!”

“ _Mom_!”

Kevin smiled.


	12. Make It Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. Hopefully the next part won't take like two months. And hopefully this part doesn't totally suck. :)

A few days after that, AJ called Kevin.

“What's up?” Kevin asked, when Howie handed him the phone.

“My mom's not home,” AJ said on the other end, “she and Grandma are shopping. They'll be gone for hours.”

“Okay,” Kevin said, sitting down on the couch, figuring AJ was bored and felt like talking.

“You know what that means?”

“What's it mean?” Kevin asked.

“It means I'm here. In my bedroom,” AJ laughed. Then added, with seductive flare too easy for a 19-year-old, “All alone.”

“Oh,” Kevin said, getting an inkling of what AJ was getting at now.

“And I've still got these condoms I stole from your brother's room,” AJ went on. “Don't know what on earth to use them for....”

“You still have those?” Kevin chuckled, amused.

“Yeah, I do. I mean, I'm sure you got some of your own too, but.... We shouldn't waste these, should we?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Can you come over?” AJ asked.

Kevin looked down at himself. He was in all sweats and hadn't showered yet that day. His hair was greasy from his workout earlier.

“My mom was expectin' me to call her this afternoon,” he said, remembering.

“Kev, fuck that, come on. I'm horny right now. And we're official, you n' me together. We gotta make it it, like, real, you know? Seal the deal.”

“Okay – I guess I can call her later,” Kevin shrugged. “Still, one of Lou's guys is supposed to call me today about tour details--”

“Let Howie handle it. Come on, Kevin. Get over here now, so we have plenty of time before my mom gets back!” AJ said forcefully.

“Fine, just let me grab a quick shower--”

“Kevin! Now!” AJ snapped. “Besides, a shower for you is never quick! I don't care how dirty you are, I want you right now, okay?”

Kevin almost dropped the phone. He'd never had someone talk that way to him, so openly demanding and wanting.

“Okay. I'll be there in twenty minutes,” Kevin said, standing up and trying to find his shoes.

 

“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Brian asked, walking in the door just as Kevin was heading out.

“AJ's,” Kevin replied quickly, nearly sprinting down the hall.

Brian just laughed.

 

Kevin parked his truck and practically ran up the driveway to the house. AJ was there at the door to greet him, and he pulled him inside, shoving him against the wall and kissing him hard. He smelled so good, like shampoo, and the older man moaned. Kevin dove his tongue in AJ's mouth as AJ's hands scrabbled at his shirt and pants, unable to decide which garment to take off first. Kevin held him still and kissed him longer before AJ tried undressing him again.

“Baby,” the older one gasped, breaking apart, “Baby, let's do this in your room, okay?”

 

AJ locked the door behind them, and that's when Kevin realized he'd never actually been in AJ's room before. The few times he'd been over AJ's house, they'd always hung out in the living room or backyard. AJ's room was characteristic of him; green walls with posters here and there, and clothes all over the floor. The bed was unmade, and its blankets and sheets were twisted off to one corner of the mattress. Kevin had the sudden urge to clean everything and make the bed.

He watched AJ's back muscles ripple as the younger man took off his shirt. Kevin pressed into him quickly, kissing AJ's neck, sliding his hands around the front of AJ's pants and unbuttoning the fly. He wrapped his hand around AJ's hardening cock and pumped it several times; AJ nearly collapsed into him, grasping the other one's arms to hold himself up. He sighed happily,and Kevin took his hand away to remove AJ's pants the rest of the way.

It wasn't long before the both of them were on AJ's bed, completely naked. Kevin rocked his hips into AJ's roughly, rubbing their cocks together. AJ moaned repeatedly, fingernails scraping at the skin of Kevin's biceps, savoring every inch of skin.

“AJ,” Kevin moaned softly, and AJ started wildly bucking his hips, moving his hands down to squeeze Kevin's ass and pull him tighter between his legs.

“Kevin, come on,” AJ gasped, losing control, “Now, let's do it now!”

Kevin managed to fight his body away from AJ's, and he looked down at his boyfriend. AJ's big brown eyes were liquid with need, calling to him, his eyebrows raised and jaw dropped in submission.

“Okay,” Kevin said, heart thumping in his chest.

“Condoms are in there,” AJ said, nodding to his bedside drawer. Kevin wasted no time in getting one; he tore open the packaging and rolled it quickly over his dripping cock, then hopped off the bed to find his pants.

“What're you doing?” AJ wondered as Kevin searched his pockets.

Kevin extracted the lube he'd brought with him and showed it to AJ.

He crawled back onto the bed and held AJ's thighs open with both hands as he leaned down. He licked up AJ's hard cock, then took it in his mouth, sucking gently – enough to pleasure him but not enough to send AJ over the edge right away. He tasted just how Kevin remembered, and Kevin shivered. AJ tangled his finger's in Kevin's soft dark hair and moaned his appreciation. Carefully, Kevin left AJ's legs propped up, and, without stopping his mouth's ministration's on AJ's cock, he slid a lubed finger into AJ's ass.

AJ arched his back and his fingers tensed in Kevin's hair.

“Feels good,” he gasped. Kevin continued, watching AJ's reaction to everything as he went along, learning the things AJ responded to most. He repeatedly massaged his tongue roughly over the head of AJ's cock, and AJ loved that so much he writhed and wriggled under Kevin, thrusting up for more, but at the same time pushing down harder on Kevin's finger. Kevin inserted another, and AJ shoved down onto it. He shouted out suddenly; his hands flew out of Kevin's hair and grasped at the air. He came long and hard, his legs shaking, and he jerked away a few times sensitively as Kevin's fingers grazed that spot inside of him again. He came down, relaxing, his hands falling down on the bed, and Kevin licked him clean of his pleasure. Some cum dribbled down his lips, and AJ beckoned him close so he could kiss him and lick it off. When AJ finished, Kevin kissed him on the forehead, and returned to preparing AJ's body for himself.

“Damn,” AJ shuddered. “Holy shit. Wow.”

Kevin smiled at him.

“You still want me, Alex?” he asked, gently picking AJ's legs up and resting them high on his waist. AJ nodded, his body completely relaxed into the bed and totally pliant. This was what Kevin had wanted their first time to be like, and he was glad he could make up for it now – he could make love to AJ now. Slowly, he pushed inside of AJ, who tensed for a moment until Kevin stroked his cock a few times. “It's okay, baby, we're both gonna feel so good,” Kevin told him. AJ nodded.

When Kevin was in all the way, he leaned down on his elbows on either side of AJ, and kissed him slowly. AJ wrapped his arms tightly around him. When Kevin felt AJ's thighs flexing against his waist, he began moving.

“Is this good?” Kevin said.

“Yeah,” AJ breathed, kissing him again, sliding their tongues together. The way AJ clung to him and yielded to his thrusts made Kevin's heart ache with love. This was perfect. AJ was perfect. He sped up, flattening his body over AJ's and latching his teeth to the younger man's neck. He could feel AJ's hard cock rubbing against his belly, and it only made Kevin enjoy this impossibly more.

Soon, AJ began whispering Kevin's name into his ear, and it was all the older man could take.

“Here,” Kevin said, pushing AJ's wrists above his head, onto the pillow. He entwined their hands and drove deeply into AJ, kissing him hard before gasping. “I'm gonna come, AJ,” he let his boyfriend know, and to his surprise, right after he said that, Kevin felt warm wetness spurt between their bellies. AJ quivered out a long moan, accompanied by an “Oh, God!” while his fingers twitched in Kevin's hands.

Kevin echoed the “Oh, God!” even louder, adding a “Yes!” and an “Alex!” and a “Shit!” with each burst of ecstasy that ran through him during his final thrusts. AJ shook underneath him from aftershocks, and Kevin melted over his body, kissing him once more on the mouth before tucking his head into AJ's neck. He released AJ's hands, which instantly came around his waist, hugging him. Kevin stroked AJ's hair with one hand, and soon leaned up on the other, to peer down at his love.

AJ's eyes fluttered open, a mixture between sated and hungry within the brown depths. He wiggled his hips, thrusting up, and moaned. “Still horny,” he said. “Still want you more.”

“Give me a sec,” Kevin mumbled. He shifted, gently pulling out, before pulling off the condom and tossing it into the nearby waste bin. Then, he lay back down on AJ and resumed kissing him. AJ's hips quickly worked into a frenzy. His gasps of breath were louder now as he fought towards another orgasm. Kevin helped him out, meeting each thrust with perfect rhythm. AJ's teeth gnashed against Kevin's, accidentally bruising his lips. With lots of needy sounds, the younger one grasped Kevin's ass and forced him down, wanting harder, longer strokes. The feeling of AJ's cock rubbing against his own was almost too erotic for Kevin to handle, and he felt his second orgasm coming on quickly. He'd never cum this immediately in succession before, and he held tightly onto AJ as his orgasm rocked through him, fast and hard. AJ's hips shot up as well, the younger man crying out wordlessly.

As their bodies relaxed and their breathing returned to normal, Kevin rolled off of AJ and hugged him. Both thoroughly sated, they closed their eyes.

 

When he opened his eyes, Kevin realized with heavy panic that they'd passed out. He was woken by the sound of doors opening and chatter coming from down the hall.

“Shit,” he hissed. “Shit!” He shook AJ. “Wake up, baby, your mom's home.”

“Wha...,” AJ said groggily, cuddling back into him, but Kevin climbed over him and started searching through the mess on the floor for his pants.

“Your mom's home,” Kevin repeated urgently.

AJ sat up fast that time.

“Fuck. Where's the condom?” he asked. “You threw it away, right?”

“Yeah,” Kevin said, finding his underwear and yanking it on. Next he found his t-shirt. AJ got up, found his boxers, and started throwing tissues and scrunched up pieces of paper into his wastebin to cover up the evidence of what they'd done.

“Where's the lube? Where the fuck's the lube? Do I smell like sex?” AJ asked worriedly. “Does the room smell like sex?”

“God, I don't know,” Kevin said, raking a hand through his hair as he continued trying to find his jeans. Ah, there they were.

AJ cracked open a window as Kevin pulled them on.

“Alex, honey, we're home,” came AJ's mom's voice, muffled. She knocked on the door. “Is that Kevin's truck in the drive? Is he here?”

“Hi, Mrs. McLean,” Kevin greeted.

AJ pulled on pants and stumbled to the door, opening it. He and Kevin pasted on big smiles.

Denise was smiling but her face fell once she saw her son. “Alex, put on a shirt when you have company!”

“Oh. Sorry, Mom,” AJ said. He turned and began digging through the piles of clothes for a shirt.

“And you should clean your room. Kevin probably thinks it's disgusting.”

“He doesn't mind. Right, Kev?”

“Yeah,” Kevin said. “It's all right. My room is kinda messy, too.”

AJ's mom shook her head, then asked, “Kevin, would you like to stay for dinner? AJ's grandmother and I were just about to prepare something to eat. Roast beef.”

“That sounds good, but, uh,” Kevin stammered, “I was s'posed to go home n' call my mom. It's long distance and all.”

“Well, we won't be long, I'm sure she can wait,” Denise said. “Besides, we bought way too much food as usual. We have plenty to share! Please stay.”

Kevin glanced at AJ for approval and received a big grin and a nod.

“Okay,” he said, accepting Denise's offer.

 

He would have declined dinner and instead opted to wreck his truck on the way home if he'd known what AJ had planned to say while they were eating.

“Mom, Grandma,” the younger Backstreet Boy said after a lull in conversation, clearing his throat and setting down his fork to make an announcement. When he saw he had their attention, he placed his hand on top of Kevin's and smiled nervously. “I have something to say.”

Kevin's eyes bugged out of his head and his heart started to race. _Oh, God, no. Should I stop him? I should stop him --_

“What is it, Alex?” Denise asked gently, lifting up a spoonful of potatoes to her mouth.

“Kevin is my boyfriend,” AJ said, looking over at his friend and rubbing his thumb over his hand, “and I'm in love with him!”


End file.
